Why is it that most husbands don’t feel comfortable when their wives are richer or more successful than them? 
Is it that such husbands don’t love their wives or such wives can’t manage success ?

When the essence of a man is defeated as the breadwinners of the house and his lordship as the head of the family, he becomes uncomfortable.
By right and by design, a man should be seen ahead of the wife, the man strengthens the weakness of the wife. So when a woman is richer or more successful in material terms than them the man, it shows that he has been defeated and he becomes uncomfortable.
In Africa, an average woman has a pride. When a woman is more successful than the man, often times pride sets in and she becomes the mouth of the family. The ability of the man is limited because he has no access to what commands the might.
I have seen a situation where this has happen. Though they will live in peace and understanding from the outside view, but if you live closer, the man is limited in actions and rights because the woman has the "say power".
A man will always want to have command. By design, a man should be ahead of the woman; he is the strengthener of her destiny.

Bamidele Moyo-Angel 11.

A whole lots of men will not feel comfortable if their wives are richer than them, and this only shows the kind of family they are building. If it is what experts call MUTUAL FAMILY, they will be comfortable,
but a man in an OLYMPIC FAMILY [A family full of competition, envy and rivalry] will find it difficult.
So we may be right to say the following things do lead to this:
1. Type of family they build.
2. Sense of insecurity: a whole lots of our men are insecure leaders.
3. Lack of genuine love: if you truly love her, you won’t envy her. ''Charity envieth not'' 1cor 13:4.
So if you envy your wife, you are not in love with her because hatred is the foundation of envy. You can’t envy somebody you love.
4. Lack of knowledge: Ignorance is another reason for this. If a man is well informed, he will know that the success of his wife is his own; at least she bears his name
5. I need to add that the disposition of the successful woman can also affect the husband. If she is arrogant and cocky, the man may feel threatened.

Bisi Adewale,
Living Home Foundation, Lagos Nigeria.

My understanding of marriage, which I have been practicing for over thirteen years in marriage, is that the husband and the wife have everything in common with nothing in secret and they are not ashamed of it.
Whatever the husband has belongs to the wife, and whatever the wife has belongs to husband. Therefore, it does not matter if God blesses the couple more through the wife or the husband. The most important thing is that God is blessing the couple. When one has the idea that what one has belongs to one's spouse, one would not be jealous of the success of the spouse, in fact, one supposes to be happy that one's spouse is successful, even if the success is more than one's success. Period.
Now, to answer why some or most husbands do not feel comfortable when their wives are richer or more successful in material terms than them, there are many reasons:
One, wrong conception of marriage as explained above.
Two, selfishness on the part of most of the husbands.
Three, pride and on part of some of the wives.
Four, superiority/inferiority complex on the part of either the husband or the wife. The one that God blesses more should never feel superior to the one that God blesses less even if the less-blessed one is the husband.
Five, wrong conception of God: God can never be predicted in His dealings with man. He may decide to bless the wife financially, materially or otherwise more than the husband for a purpose best known to Him.
Bayo Afolaranmi (Pastor)
http://www.thewordthruthenet.org/

My opinion is that such husbands have an inferiority complex! They need to be delivered from self-pity. I mean, what is it that belongs to my wife, that is not mine and what is it that I have that isn't my wife's? Didn't we become one flesh when we're joined in to marriage?
I think it depends on how you have developed your relationship as a married couple. For me, my wife is my manager. What I make and what she makes, we bring it to the table and pray and decide how and what do. We set priorities together, and if there is a misunderstanding or argument, I choose to be the looser! I give in because I love her.

Those who say wealth go into the heads of women could be right in some sense! But for me, it has been my lifestyle for 30 years now in my marriage. At the beginning, it was not easy, but as I learned to yield to Christ, I became more loving and accommodative.

Joseph Kirichu,
Senior Pastor, Grapevine Ministries,

KIAMBU ROAD, RUIRU, Kenya.

I will say that there was a time that my wife earned more than i did. Honestly, at a certain point i was feeling insecure. My insecurity was not her making but the natural man in me. Constant entertainment of such insecurities almost brought some coldness in our relationship but God helped me in good time.

My wife was selfless. There are no secrets around our finances. We planned together and execute as planned. She never complained about my inability to earn more but was happy that she could cover up with what was left. Our children did not know the difference between who earned more or less. They only knew that their needs were met by their parents. I had no reason whatsoever to feel threatened about her earning more.
Looking back to our foundations before marriage, we were able to discuss in very clear terms how we want to run our family, finance inclusive. So, we expect accountability from each other. We have made many mistakes these 19 years now but we have been growing and trusting each other all the more.
Presently, the situation is the opposite and many times I have seen her in worry mood seeking for how to help bring more cash-flow into the family. I now have to encourage her and maintain the balance.  So, we are in the same boat and we must swim as a family to the shore in safety.
Gideon Bagudu,
Shepherd, The Victory Community Baptist Church,
Port Harcourt, Rivers. 

I would not say that I have noticed anything like that. If it exists at all, it is either a product of insecurity or lack of understanding of the role a wife is supposed to play in homes. A wife is supposed to help. One who must help must have the capacity to do so. I think also that the tendency for husbands to possess a huge, unmanageable and somewhat unhealthy ego may be a factor. Some wives create unnecessary tension when they allow success to get into their heads. Mutual respect and an agreement to be guided by noble values should help any couple maintain an even keel in the sea of life.

Nseobong Okon-Ekong,
Journalist, Thisday, Lagos.

It seems God himself has heard the cry of womenfolk and decided to step into our situation by empowering us financially in some instances over our husbands. But this shouldn’t cause friction. I know men are egocentric, believing in the fallacy that they are the head of the house and so they must be the breadwinner. They should realise that the bible calls us HELPMATES.
Any wife in this kind of situation should be extra submissive and must always carry her hubby along in all her dealings. She should always remember that it’s God that gives power to get wealth, not by her power or by might. The couple should try as much as possible to avoid third parties like friends and families who might be insinuating that the woman has used juju to supplant her husband’s destiny. That is our belief in Africa. This might cause hatred between the couple.
All will be well in our homes if we can follow these simple tips.

Feyikemi Niyi-Olayinka,
Presenter, LTV, Lagos.

There is nothing wrong with a wife being richer than the husband so far it does not go into her head, and she still honours the husband.
She must not misbehave with the money and she must know that the riches belong to the family and not her alone. And the bible says the two shall come together and become one , so if they are one entity, then there should not be any problem. They are one no matter who the money is in his/her hand.

Pastor Olugbenga Oluwatominiyi,
RCCG Brescia, Italy.

I think d reason why most men don’t feel comfortable is because as the head in the relationship as ordained by God, they should be the head in every aspect, be it finance, success, recognition etc. Most men think if their wives are more successful, they will lose their place as the head.

In some cases, it takes the grace of God to still remain humble to your husband when a woman is richer than her husband. I know of some women that missed it.

I also know of some women that are richer than their husband and hardly will people know.

All the same, it takes the grace of God and maturity on the part of men to handle such as a wife.

Dorcas Dauda,
Student, UI, Ibadan.
 

I think questions like this depend on individual experiences and the greatest teacher is one who teaches from experience. It also depends as well on the definition that couples have about marriage. If our response to marriage is 1 +1= 1, then it does not matter whom God uses to bless the family.

Tessy Nwosu,
Tessy Nwosu Ministries, Seoul, South Korea.

When married men feel uncomfortable about the wealth of their wives, it is not necessarily because they do not love them; it is usually a reaction of an individual that is suffering from self-inadequacy.
Man generally is a proud entity, who by his divine mandate should rule and provide for his household. Unfortunately for a man with low income compared to his wife or non-influential in relation to his wife, he will be conscious of his circumstance with uncontrollable sense of inferiority complex.
At this point, such a man sees real challenge, especially where the wife is not humble. A wise woman, described in the book of Proverb Chapter 31 covers-up for the husbands inadequacies where finance and influence are concerned and double-up spiritually. Where such challenges are for a man, he should take understanding from the word of God. 
The challenges of the present day realities, drawn from economic and political will to make impact has created several men with low incomes and more women breaking economic barriers.

In situation where this abound, the man needs reassurance of the woman's steadfastness and demonstrated humility in her position with the consciousness that feeling inadequate is a terrible feeling for both man and woman. Only constant feed on the word of God could help in overcoming the feeling and the challenge.

Fola Bola Tijani,
LTV, Lagos, Nigeria.

Men, as ordained by God are the head of the homes. This also implies they are the bread winners of their respective homes. Howbeit, most men are yet to understand the requirements of being the head, rather they are carried away by the title 'head of the family'. As such, it’s their mindset to believe that they must always be ahead in all things as relating to the family. The status quo must be maintained at all cost that the man is the head. In view of this, should the wife now appear to be more successful in her career, the man feels threatened. His ego is challenged. Rather than accommodating the success of the wife, he feels his authority could be challenged at any time.
On the other hand, the man has also not understood the concept of the role of the woman as 'a help' to him. This means in all things, she is to be a helping hand to the man. Now the school of thought is: "how can one be a help if she has nothing to offer?" so the woman being successful more than the man, is a way of God fulfilling His obligation towards the man to be helped by his wife in all things including financial success; and until the man realises that, he will feel threatened by his wife's success.

Pastor Ade Akingbade,
Pastor, Living Waters Unlimited Church,
Anthony, Lagos Nigeria.

Women can easily succeed faster and than their husbands. They are created with equal capabilities as men. But men are stronger than women in terms of physical strength. When it comes to ability to think and succeed, some women are far better and quicker than men.
Genetically, there is no difference in brain, heart and mind structure between men and women. The reason why men are jealous is because the society has place men at the fore front of achievement. So when they see women doing better than them, it is seen as an unusual event and that woman’s husband is considered lazy and unserious and that gets under the men’s skin.

Julia Sam Loco,
Community Care Resources,
New York.

Today, one key observation I have noticed in many marriages is that many married couples and intending couples do not understand God's PURPOSE for MARRIAGE.
This poor understanding is manifesting in the handling of not only 'conjugal wealth' but also in childlessness or even career pursuit, etc) and mark my word, the difference is not much whether it is Christian marriages or secular ones we are talking about.
The truth is, if couples understand that the first reason God ordained marriage in Genesis 2 was for 'companionship', men and women in marriages would be able to handle wealth, successes and attainments better.
To be honest, the role definition God gave in my own version of the bible (NKJV), when He consummated the first marriage in Genesis 2 and Eve was introduced to Adam was 'helper'. A wife (among other things) must understand her support role to the husband in marriage. God did not design a wife as a 'competitor' to her husband. It is only when a woman understands this that she would (even when more successful than her husband) learn to honour and adore him as her head as Paul admonished in Phillipians.

Tunji Abioye,
Fuel BMC Limited, Lagos Nigeria.