I can't marry a man with tribal marks!

I am a 34 and still single. I believe that God will give me my heart desire as far as the choice of husband is concerned. All the guys who come to me are either muslims or men who do not know Christ at all. One is much older than me, ten years. The last two, one is a total drunk while the other has two children from two different women already. He wants to add me to the list. The one my mum wants me to marry has bold tribal marks. The tribal marks are as bold as an index finger. And when he speaks in English, you hear Yoruba intonation in his pronunciation.
Madam, you are a woman. You also have a list on the kind of man you wanted to marry when you were single. We women have our heart desires. But I know i am not excessive in my wants. I am not looking for Prince Charming. I am not looking for men with billions or jeeps or living in choicest estate. But I cant marry a man with bold tribal marks, and Yoruba-English for intonation.
My parents know his parents and amongst themselves, they are calling themselves in law.The whole issue looks funny to me because the guy and i don't talk. When he comes to our house, i go out immediately yet, my parents and his are fooling themselves. How can i speak to my parents to leave me alone? How can i tell this guy to seek his fortunes elsewhere? I know God will provide my heart desire for me. They should not write me off. I cry over this issue everyday.


Pastor Deola Speaks

I thank God for your life and your absolute devotion to Him. I believe your marital choice is strictly your own decision, however you will benefit immensely from the input of your pastors and parents. While their advice to you on your marital choice is not binding, it can give you great insight. It is important to marry someone whom you feel that you love and you feel will make you happy, but you must want for yourself that which God wants for you. Marriage is for life, and someone that seems good today, may not be the best person for you after five years of marriage. I really do not think that tribal marks or Yoruba intonation is a major issue and I am saying this in retrospect, after being married for almost eighteen years and may I add, being happily married. Only God could have made me this secure in my husband's home. But believe me, I never thought I could marry my husband, even though I believe that He was God's choice for me. I had a list of things I wanted in a man, and looking back I am not even sure he met most of the criteria on my list, but he met the main ones, which were: 1) A man who loves the Lord and is absolutely devoted to God
2) A man who is called to serve in full time ministry (because I knew that I was called to serve God in full time ministry)
3) A man who will allow me to serve God and be a blessing to humanity
4) A man who is absolutely devoted to me and will be faithful to me all his life.
Sometimes single people put a lot of emphasis on carnal issues and I had my own share of carnal criteria for marriage but I am so glad I did not choose my husband based on those carnal criteria. I can confidently say that God's choice is the best.
Before you write off this man with tribal marks, look at his character and his track record, what kind of man is he, does he love God? Does he love you? Does he go after other women? Or is he the kind of man that will genuinely love you and count himself blessed because you agreed to marry him?
Finally we must always look at other people with compassion, can you imagine how many times this man has been rejected just because of his tribal marks? He had no control over his tribal marks, his parents or grandparents put this on him when he was a baby, and this is a mark he has carried about all his life, I know most ladies will not look beyond his tribal marks to see a man who is probably loving and deserves to be loved. Please look beyond his marks, if you still feel that you cannot marry him, make sure that it is not because of his marks.
The interesting thing is that the way people in developed countries are putting tattoos all over their body in the name of fashion and beauty, your husband (if you marry him) may actually become a star in future. (Laugh). I also understand the way you feel, it is easy to assume that the reason your parents are suggesting someone for you to marry is because of your age, but I really do not want you to feel dejected over this, because the are only motivated by love for you and a desire to see you happily settled in your own home. Sometimes parents pressure a twenty year old lady to marry a man because they like the man or his parents.
So really, you do not have to be sad because they have introduced someone to you. I pray that God will give you the wisdom and insight to make the right choice and that you will have a happy and fulfilling marriage.