I was married some four years ago but it broke

down just four days to its first year...

Really, I'm not reacting to any story but to actually tell you mine.

I was married some four years ago but it broke down just four days to its first year. Part of this breakdown was due to my fault and my ex-wife.

My major problem was having extra-marital affairs (which I know is quite bad), I'm not excusing myself but my wife was really a mean person and basically drove me to these things (I'm not offering any excuse for my infidelity).

Now we are divorced, and I had been trying so hard to settle down again. Basically I'd been finding faults with virtually all the women I'd dated since then (and I did not exercised enough patience with them before asking them to go) but now I've found a new one, extremely younger than others (by the way, I'm 36 even though I look like a 26 year old), she's 22.

I'd actually known her for almost a year but we just started dating recently and she already made me mad twice (the most recent was this morning) but I'd resolved to not take measures I'd been taking with others but to be extremely careful with her.

I just need your counsel and prayers.

God Bless.

Dyk

Response from Pastor Deola Ojo.

It is of utmost importance that you make the right choice this time around. There is no point making the same mistake twice, while there seems to be a huge gap between your age and hers, I do not think this is a problem as long as you are compatible in other areas. If you marry someone you are not compatible with, there is a great danger that the two of you will be unhappy and you run the risk of another failed marriage. you need to do a critical review of yourself, are you a tough person who believes that things must be perfectly done and done on time?
Or do you think that these ladies are just not your type and therefore you find it difficult to cope with them? I suggest you read a book on personalities, if you do not already know your temperament, this book will help you to identify yourself and then to understand what you are likely to need from a spouse. Marriages are made up of different people with different partners, what makes a marriage work is the personal decision of both partners and the degree of compatibility they have over the years. Which means that when you are choosing a partner, you have to look at both, how well you blend now and how likely you will remain compatible over the years. Some people marry someone that seems alright right now but if they had given much thought to their choice they would have discovered that it was a poor choice as it becomes clear that they rapidly growing apart.
For instance most men choose a lady because she looks beautiful and looks up to them financially because she has just finished school and has not started work, they do not look beyond the beauty to see an independent, opinionated and ambitious lady, the marriage is okay for one or two years but as the lady becomes more financially independent the marriage becomes unbearable. Making the right marital choice depends on insight, foresight and hindsight.
God can give you foresight, if you ask him, you have to check your spirit for your insight and because you have been married before you have enough hindsight about marital matters to make the right choice. Of course personal experience is not enough, you may also need to review other people's relationship so that you can select a lady that will last a lifetime. I suggest you get the following books: Personality plus by Florence Litteuar, Give me a spouse or I die and In Love Forever, how to have a happy and successful marriage. May God help you to make the right choice.
In Christ 's love,
Pastor Deola