Dear Counsellor,

SHOULD I LIVE THE CHURCH?

I am a young lady of about 25 years old. I was courting a guy in my church, during our courtship, it has be one problem or the other. He will tell me people are telling him that they always see me with different guys, which is not true. The one that baffled me most is that he told me that one of his pastor friends told him that I fornicated and that is why is breaking up with me.

Three months to our break up, he introduce another girl to our pastor as his wife to be from another church. I can't cope with the situation anymore. Should I leave the Church? please advice me on what to do.

Amen

Response from Pastor Deola Ojo.


If someone says that you did something which you did not do, it is better to confront the person in front of witnesses. Could it be that another person looks like you and the people in your church run into this person and assume that you are the one living a double life? Do you have any sisters that really look like you? You may be shocked that some people mix you up with your siblings.
I wonder the motive of the people who did not call you aside to warn you of your bad behaviour, but think that the best thing to do is to tell your fiancé?
You also need to be very sure these people actually told your fiancé the things he claims that they said. What if your fiancé is the one lying just because he had seen someone else from another church and he does not know how to break up with you, without people thinking that he is a wicked person. Have you heard the phrase “Give the dog a bad name to hang the dog?”
Even if this guy does not marry you, it is still important to get to the root of the matter for your own sake. If people lied about you to break up this relationship, what stops them from repeating the same thing again and again…
If indeed you find out that the people in your church lied against you, please find out why they did this.
Do they think that you are responsible for destroying somebody's reputation and are just trying to pay you back?
Do people feel that you are a snob and feel that they do not want to see you happy?
Either way it is unacceptable for Christians to behave this way, but please find out, clear things up and then pray and ask God if He wants you in a different church.
I pray that God will be with you.
In Christ's love,