What are the guidelines i can apply to pick a husband?

I have seen too many marriages crumble. What i saw of my father and mother almost discouraged me from marriage. We never had peace for one day. My father and mother were perfect example of mis-match. My sister's marriage is crumbling too. Here in London, marriages are a sham. I hate this London and the pain is many victims want you to be like them. My elder brother's marriage is in chaos too. I ealier thought we are cursed in our family but later, i knew that all of them did not get something right. I dont want to fall into this pit that is why I ask this question.

Matete Niyirenda, London.


Response from Pastor Deola Ojo.

It is important to use foresight, hindsight and insight to select the right spouse. Singles need to have the ability to think ahead, to weigh relationships and be able to make deductions about the future based on the current events.
For instance a man who has several girlfriends, will not be faithful to his wife. Some ladies assume that once they get married he will break off his relationships with all the other girls, which he might do for a while, but he will soon become dissatisfied with one lady and will look for other ladies. If a man is not faithful before marriage, he will not be faithful after marriage. a lady who yells at her fiancé before marriage will yell at him after marriage. God can give you foresight if you are a Christian, according to Rom.8:14, the sons of God are led by His spirit.
God is the only one who knows the future and knows the best person to marry and if you ask Him, He will tell you. Some people say, “but how can I tell that God is asking me to marry someone?” this is where insight comes in. the ability to know something intuitively. While this comes more naturally to some personalities, we all have to develop our intuition by spending time praying and reading the Bible. With God's help, we can know which relationships will not work and steer clear of them. The other thing you need before you choose a life partner is hindsight.
The ability to learn from your own past mistakes and other people's experiences. No doubt someone who has never been married may not have hindsight about how his or marriage will turn out but by looking at good, bad and ugly marriages and analyzing their origin, problems, challenges, solutions and dissolutions, single people can make the right choice about their own lives.
The amount of knowledge you have about relationships and marriages is of utmost importance. It is the truth that you know that will set you free. So buy books, cds and tapes on relationships and you would have empowered and prepared yourself to make the right choice when the time comes.
In Christ 's love,
Pastor Dee