Thousands of e-mails come to us from men and women of all walks of life who struggle with addictions to pornography, masturbation, cybersex, and similar sexual practices. We have seen many lives and families devastated by addictive sexual sins.

These problems are not unique to any race, financial, social or marital status -- Christian or non-Christian. If you suspect that you may have such an addiction, see our article, How can I tell if I'm getting addicted to sex or pornography?, and our Web site, Sex, Love & Relationships which includes stories of many people who have struggled with these issues.

Often, those who contact us have told no one else about their problem. They suffer in silence. If you are such a person, please contact us . Don't ignore the problem; it will only get worse and the damage will spread.

If you find yourself engulfed in a sexual addiction, here are some general tips that have helped many in their journey toward restoration and healing:

Face the facts
"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23). There are many ways that we humans sin and fall short -- lying, greed, stealing, adultery, taking the Lord's name in vain, and many other selfish acts. All sins are equally serious before our Holy God.

If there is some sexual sin in your life, the first step toward improvement is to understand and admit what you have done. If you have given yourself to pornography or sexual fantasies involving people other than your spouse, you have been committing adultery. Jesus said:

"You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not commit adultery.' "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:27-28).

Grasp the seriousness of this. You have been breaking a commandment of God. You have turned something beautiful (sex), into something ugly, selfish and damaging. If you are married, then you have been unfaithful to your spouse. If single, you are sinning against the dear person you may one day marry. If you are returning to this behavior over and over again, despite your desire to stop, then you are out control. You are addicted . If this is the case, and you can admit it, then congratulations; you have taken the first step toward recovery.

Spiritual salvation
The single biggest factor in combatting such an addiction is to come under the authority of Jesus Christ. You are involved in a spiritual battle. "The Scripture contains no promise of help in overcoming temptation for those who are unsaved." If you are not yet a Christian, we strongly urge you to confess your sin and totally surrender your life to Him. Accept His gift of eternal salvation for your soul. After accepting Christ, some are totally delivered from their addictions.

"But, I am saved" - If there is no doubt that you have already committed your life to Jesus Christ and are relying on His sin-covering blood for your salvation, then do not let your sin cause you to doubt your salvation. Instead, deal with your sin. Confess it, and rededicate your life to Christ. Don't hold back any part of your life from Him. Humble yourself totally before God. Surrender it all. Ask Him to help you live a life of purity and true love. Accept your own failure and inadequacy. Admit that you cannot overcome sin on your own.

The apostle Paul understood the frustration and terrible hold that our inherited sin has on all descendants of Adam and Eve: "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do , I agree that the law is good. ...I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing.

Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?" --Romans 7:15-24 (NIV)

 

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