Can one have sex with one's partner after the engagement has been done?

Engagement or the traditional wedding is a recognised wedding according to the law of the land and once it is like that, the church recognises it as so.

It is a normal, fully acceptable wedding. Essentially, the idea behind weddings and marriages is that it must be done openly. There are witnesses, there is a party, and everybody recognises them as married. And so engagement is otherwise called traditional law and custom by the law of the land and it is recognised.

However, for people who are the children of God, who are born again, in many cases, they do not consider themselves already married until they have received church blessing. So it depends on where your level of faith is, where your level of relationship with God or dedication to God is.

I know some people, as far as they are concerned once they have completed the traditional wedding, then they are married and they can go ahead and live like any other married person waiting for the time when they would have enough money to now do the church tradition. But there are some others who have done the traditional marriage, who have even done the registry marriage and yet as far as they are concerned, they are not really fully married yet, until they have come to church to be blessed through the ministers of God. That is where their faith is and that is where their walk with God is.

So it depends on your walk with God. What is referred to as engagement or traditional law and custom, let it be obvious, let everybody know about it. Let it not just be between you and your wife and some uncle somewhere who says “just don't worry, just bring yam and cassava”. No, that would not be acceptable, it must be openly done where everybody recognises it and people are there and it is done properly. So when that is done and you want to consider yourself married, well, fine.

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As a twenty year old lady and a Christian, can I have a boyfriend? If yes, what should be my conduct and if no when should I have one? 
Personally, I don't quite like the terminology boyfriend when it comes to Christians because of what it has meant over the years or what it has represented really.

But if you are talking about having some intent to marry, not somebody you play around with for a while and change again, and play around for a while and change yet again, if he is somebody you want to get married to there is nothing wrong in having such a person at the age to twenty.

But you have to go about it prayerfully. Make sure you have a proper guide in your church leadership or fellowship leadership as the case may be. On conduct, you will need a seminar to get the proper lecture on conduct. But I will simply say here that you try to conduct yourself as you find in the bible and in the word of God.

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Why is the issue of sex not being mentioned in our churches nowadays so that people can learn one or two things about this issue from the pulpit?
You know church people are so holy peoples, religious people. Religious people are not going to move us forward. Religion is hindering us a lot. 

In our church here in Sagamu, Ogun State Nigeria , we talk about sex to our youths, we discuss it among our couples and things like that. And there are some churches that do such. Churches like you said should address this important issue and present God's perspective of it. Let people know what they stand to gain or lose if they go this way or go the other. And they will be 
better off at the end of the day. 

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I gave my life to Christ last year June, but before I got born again, I went out with some ladies. Now I have been reading in the bible “Thou shall not commit adultery”. Is it right to have many friends before one choose to marry or one has to be going out with ladies before marriage, according to biblical standard?
"Going out” has now come to stay as a language for having an affair, or some form of friendship or relationship with somebody. And for those of us who are called by the name of the Lord, we do not practice that kind of a thing without seriousness. We should not do it on a dating basis, the way the American will talk about dating.

In other words, you are going out with this today and then you go out with the other one tomorrow and then you go out with the other one next year, eventually you are going to pick from one of them. We do not do it like that as Christians.

If the “going out” you are referring to is typical “going out” as the way people talk about “going out” out there in the world. But if you mean you have a relationship as far as going to bed, doing more intimate things you can talk about in public, the Christian faith is against it.

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