Most Pastors do make a lot of mistake about their marriage that is the reason why some of them are having bad marriages, when they do, they do blame their wives, devil or some people which they see as their enemies. In this piece we shall be discussing about the real cause of pastors marriage problems, they are:

"... If you make impact in ministry, touching people's life without catering for your family, you will be surprise that you will just have a disgruntled wife and wayward children. Give your children adequate attention, pray for them, lead them to Christ, ..."

(1) Putting Ministry First Before Marriage:
­Your marriage should be your number one priority not the ministry, if you mishandle your marriage, you will mishandle your ministry, why your home front is alright then your ministry can be in the front among it's peers, the truth is there is a limit to the impact you can make if your partner is not in total support of you, infact you are not qualify to be called a pastor if your home front is in disarray.

(2) If you are busy working for God, God will help you to train your children even if you are never at home -
This is wrong, the job of training your child belongs to you, not God's. If you make impact in ministry, touching people's life without catering for your family, you will be surprise that you will just have a disgruntled wife and wayward children. Give your children adequate attention, pray for them, lead them to Christ, do not assume that they are born again, be their friend so that devil may not have advantage over them.

(3) Sex with one's wife do destroy anointing. ­
This is not true, fornication and adultery do destroy anointing but sex with one's wife remains righteous and acceptable unto God. Embrace your wife do not run away from her, satisfy her bedroom desire so that she may give you rest and support.

(4) Pastor should never have a holiday or go on leave-
This is wrong if you fail to go on leave, your precious health will soon leave you, have time to be alone. Working 24 hours a day 7 day a week, throughout one's life, counseling, teaching, preaching, visiting without break is dangerous, as it will affect your well being and your marriage be wise, be kind to yourself.

(5) It is wrong to stay in the same room with your wife –
Staying in the same room with your loving wife is not wrong; it is right, good, wonderful and acceptable, WHAT GOD HAS JOINED TOGETHER LET NO ROOM PUT ASSUNDER, if you desire to be alone with God in prayer, you can go into guest room or your study room and return afterward, stay in the same room with your wife, on the same bed, when you failed to embrace your God, you are embarrassing your God, be in the same room with your beautiful wife, do not give devil a chance in your home.

(6) Prayer is enough to make my children what they should be –
Not true - prayer is not enough to make your children what you want them to be. They need more than that. They need training, teaching, love, companion, your time, your good example, friendship, discipline, correction, support, provision, protection etc. you need to pray for them, that is true, but prayer is not enough, do your part, the one,,: you can do, commit the one you cannot do into the hands of the living God, then you will have a desired result.

" ... Prayer is not enough to make your children what you want them to be. They need more than that. They need training, teaching, love, companion, your time, your good example, friendship, discipline, correction, ..."

(7) It is compulsory for pastor wives to be in the full time ministry –
It is not compulsory for a wife to be in full time ministry except if the church is able and ready to pay her as one of the pastors of the church. It is better for the pastor wife to work so as to support the husband most especially at the beginning of the ministry unless God say it specifically, it is better to allow pastors wives to be productive financially and stand with her husband until the time the church will be big enough to sustain the family.

Pastor Bisi Adewale is the publisher of FAMILY BOOSTER magazine.

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