About troubled marriages

The relationship that exists between two people that are joined in marriage is a unique one and cannot be understood properly outside the confines of the word of God. This is because unlike every other relationship we have in life, it is only in marriage that two different individuals bind together to become one. This is in spite of the differences in their personalities, backgrounds, aspirations and perceptions, as rio two people in life are exactly the same.

I believe that any preferential treatment given to, any child only ends up with harmful side effects. Whether the child is the last­born, the only boy or the only girl, all children should be treated equally and in the admonition of God's word. "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it (Proverbs' 22:6)." They should be taught how to practice respect for others who are older than them and be selfless rather than selfish.

Colossians 3:18 admonishes all wives to submit to their own husbands because this is what the Lord wants. God expects every wife to defer to, respect, and praise her husband, as the God-ordained head of their home. This does not presuppose that a woman does not have a say in the home, it means she does not walk in strife if her opinion is not taken on an issue. There can't be two captains in one ship. It is important that we carry out proper checks before we decide on whom we will marry.

One major thing that every man needs from his wife is respect and every single lady should begin to accord all the males around her some respect irrespective of their ages and their relationship to her. This includes her brothers, colleagues, neighbours, etc. She must treat them with respect and courtesy. You attract what you respect.

If you are in a marriage that is troubled and you do not see the way forward, rather than seek Divorce, I will advise you to bring it before the One that can heal every wounded union, Jesus Christ. If you are yet to have a relationship with him, I encourage you to do so today by asking Jesus Christ to come into your life and be your personal Lord and Saviour. He loves you more than you can ever comprehend.

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What not to do when things fall apart

There are times in life that we go through Heartbreaks in spite of the fact that we have done everything right. At such a time, the word of God encourages us not to despair, but rejoice, because God will definitely turn things around for our favour if we keep doing his will. I Peter 3:17, "For it is better if it is the will of God, to suffer for doing good than evil. Being in love is one thing, knowing what to do when things go sour between us and the one we claim to love is another. The first thing that automatically comes to mind that we must avoid is blame trading.

Here are few reasons why it is essential that we avoid this.
Blaming people does little help other than degenerate to bitter feelings and when this is not curbed on time, it sure will become unforgiveness.

Aside from the fact that we find it difficult to relate well with others when we walk in unforgiveness, we also block our prayers from getting answered. When someone rejects us, we must not forget that God does not. The Bible is full of countless examples of people that were rejected, but because God was not through with them yet, they still rose to become great in life. We must live through life knowing that we are" the Lord's sweetheart", no matter what happens.

When we are hooked on blaming people for our hurts, we keep fresh memories of the wrong done to us, instead of letting it go, and rather than moving forward, we are busy seeking an opportunity to get back.

When we fail in any endeavour in life, we must not conclude ourselves as failures, but know that we are but a step to success. Failing in anything does not mean that we have not accomplished anything, it only means we have at least learnt something. It does not mean that we are inferior or foolish; it only means that we are not perfect. You need to move on with your life.

There is someone out there that will value you enough to return your love without breaking your heart. Meanwhile, a woman needs to keep growing and developing herself in every area of her life.

This is a time for her to get close to God, the only one who can strengthen her through this period. She also needs to surround herself with people who will challenge her to move forward in life. It is of no worth separating herself in self-pity.

I encourage anyone out there with a wounded heart to let the word of God heal you totally. If you are yet to have a relationship with God, I advise that you do so today by asking Jesus Christ to come into your life, to be your personal Lord and Saviour. This is the first and most important miracle anyone can experience.

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Coping with an unfaithful partner

Coping with an unfaithful partner can be quite distressing, and it is not unlikely that: one will be tempted to consider divorce. If you are in such a position, I want you to hold on. However deplorable your case may be, there is hope if you will let God step into the: situation. A marriage can be saved from collapse if God can find one partner who is ready to do things right.

Though marriage works when the two people involved do things right, when one partner is erring, the union can be saved if the other partner does not give up, but rather invites God into the situation. When God finds one person who yields to his word, then he has found a point of entry into a home. The word of God is full of countless examples of people who saved their homes and nation, just because they allowed God to gain control of their situations.

From Abraham, Joshua, Rahab to our Lord Jesus Christ, the Bible is full of those who brought the power of God to change the destiny of their homes and society. Your story can be the same. I advise that you take it to God in prayers. With God, nothing is impossible.

Prayers give God the legal right to intervene in whatever we are going through. Also, what you say about your spouse and your marriage matters. The lady in the story confessed the scriptures that I gave them, Proverbs 5: 18-20, she got what she believed and confessed. Your confession about your home is important. As you confess the word of God over your spouse in the time of turmoil, God will definitely turn things to conform to your confession.

God designed us to relate with him in every issue of life, and until we have him in our hearts, we remain incapable of experiencing true love. If you are yet to have a relationship with him, I advise that you do so today by asking Jesus Christ to come into your life, to be your personal Lord and Saviour. He loves: you more than you can ever comprehend. But you must choose today to say 'Yes" to Him and you will receive the love of God.

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Divorce is not a solution

It is hard to continue to feel love for a spouse who does not share your values and belief, but the truth is that love is not about your feelings but about the commitment you made to stand by your husband "for better for worse".

Marriage is a lifetime commitment. The Bible advises married women who find themselves in this kind of situation to submit themselves to their husbands so that when their husbands observe their chaste and respectful behaviour; their husbands will be won over to the Lord. Truly, your godly lifestyle will speak to him better than any word you might speak to him. Confrontations and arguments with him will not cause him to change. You work on making sure that your attitude to your husband is right and God will do the rest.

You see, when your husband is behaving in a manner that is not honourable, you will find it hard (in you r strength) to respect him. This is where you r relationship with God becomes very important God loves the sinner even though He hates the sinner's lifestyle, so as a Christian wife, your relationship with God will empower you to really love your husband. God will enable you be patient with him, kind to him, respectful, considerate of his needs, etc. as he Bible teaches (1st Corinth. 13: 4-8). It is very important for you to continue praying for your husband's salvation, but it is just as important that you pray for the strength to love your husband in spite of his "work".

Respect and submission will soften your husband's heart to you and keep the door open on further discourse on his lifestyle when God gives you the go-ahead. Even when you don't want to discuss the details of his "work", you still have an obligation as his wife to respectfully tell him this, while making sure that you don't neglect your duties to him as a wife.

I believe that the elder you spoke to was trying to help you, but you see, divorce will not help the situation. The Bible says that when a Christian woman is married to an unbeliever and he is willing to stay married to her, she must not divorce him. This is because he might be saved with your help and also to ensure that your children have a godly heritage
(1 Corinthians 7: 13­14).

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