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Be A Partner

Isaiah 48 - 7-11

I need a full understanding of this passage in the bible Isaiah 48 - 7-11.

Kayode

Response from Rev. & Mrs Nike Adeyemi

I have been a child of God since i was a teenager. I believe in Gods ability to take care of all my needs if i obey and honour him with my life. but i noticed i have been due for marriage now and there seems to be an unusual delay. i have never had a relationship with the opposite sex that could lead to marriage. Most times i feel so all alone and wonder why my desire to get settled maritally seems not to be coming to pass. Please i need counsels and prayers because since my graduation from the university there have been some pressures from my family that calls for me to get settled. I believe God can use you as a channel.
O . E IFEOMA, Port Harcourt.
 Response from Rev. & Mrs Nike Adeyemi

I don't know how to say no to guys when it comes to sex

Please, I am a bit confused. I don't know what to do to correct my lifestyle. I have gotten born-again but i still do things i don't want to do. For instance, i have a problem when it comes to saying no to guys when it comes to sex and I really want to stop. I know its a thing of choice but i still find it difficult to do so. Recently, on the 7th of November, 2007 in my family house in Nigeria, i was raped by armed robbers that came to our house and since then i have found it difficult to forgive myself and forgive them because this is the second time i have been a victim of rape. I need your advice please.
Susan, London.

Response from Rev. & Mrs Nike Adeyemi

I cannot say no to guys when it comes to sex - Susan, London.

Susan to be very frank, you require a serious deliverance, you have been possessed of demons responsible for fornication and adultery and this needs to be cast out.

You are rather too un-lucky to be victim of rape twice and also with the robbers. You may need to be very close to God and totally surrender your life to Him because of the risk of infections like MRSA, HIV/AIDS and the incurable diseases. I hope you did wash-out after each incidence to ensure your safety?

But after said and done, if you are able to move closer to God, He will deliver you from all the above and you will be new like  baby. You need to forgive those that have hurt you, so that God also may forgive you, and be ready to submit yourself for deliverance.

Personal deliverance is also possible by standing on all the promises of God that are related to your deliverance and safety, for example we overcome the devil by the blood of the lamb and by the word of our testimonies. Whosoever that is born of God overcomes the world, and this is the victory that overcomes the world even our faith. Affliction shall not rise up the second time, I will restore health unto you and I will heal you of your wounds.....  Jere 30:17, isa 53:5, John 5:4, Rev 12:11 etc.

Make sure you always attend a Spirit- Filled Ministry and be punctual and Committed.
Ensure you are living a Holy-life void of sin. Read Christian literatures instead of worldly magazines and move with Christian friends. If you are around our reach in Hyson Green Community Centre, you can seek an appointment,  and attend our deliverance programme- Power and fire Night, and  see my wife and myself for your Spiritual growth and development in the UK. Do not exercise fear. The Lord will surely help you. I have seen this type of your case before, and today they are rejoicing after victory.

Rev  Yomi Adeyemi
CFM UK

I will curse my elder sister's son ...

I know it is not proper for one's relative to sleep with each other but it happened to me and my brother. Till today, we have not confronted each other. But I am worried because I do not want him to do the same with his children because he would soon be married. But I thank GOD that he is now a strong Christian but the most important thing is to forgive and learn to live the way GOD wants us to.
Susan, London.

Response from Rev. & Mrs Nike Adeyemi

I will curse my elder sister's son ...

I was bruised but I escaped:

This case reminds me of about 15 years ago when my mother's husband (whom I then called step father) raped me. My father died early, leaving two children for my mother to cater for. She had to re-marry due to pressures from her family.
She married a man who ordinarily was a polished, fine gentleman. You could hardly believe my story if you met this man. He was so caring, took us out always, bought things for us. I was 19 and still a virgin.
I noticed that each time I slept with cover cloth all over me, when I woke up in the morning, I found out that I would be naked. But I had no inkling as to what had happened to me over night.
There was this day mum traveled to Tema and he took only me out to a restaurant . He took me to a room and tried to sleep with me. I was young and could not say no. I was shocked. It was my first time. A painful experience. And you know what? I took in.
Mum was always traveling, leaving us to his care. After about a month, I noticed that I was not ok. He noticed it and took me to a doctor far from home. What was done on me I later knew was D&C.
A month later, I was admitted to the University. And since then I didn't go back home. This is a story I have never told anyone in 19 years. Not my mum, not my husband. It is a part of my secret past.
Parents must be careful. When my husband suggested that we bring home his brother who is in Legon, I said no. He thought I hate his family. No. But I am wiser. I have three daughters and a boy. I hope people will learn from me. Don't leave your grown-up girls with men. This is a world where even fathers sleep with their daughters.
Agymfra E.A.
Tema Ghana.

Response from Rev. & Mrs Nike Adeyemi

I am surprised at your comment  when you said each night you sleep and your mother's husband or whosoever remove your wrapper and had sexual intercourse without you knowing, then you must be very sound asleep? I think it is not possible and it takes two to tangle, although I may be wrong, but what I am after here is that after the first attempt, you are supposed to raise an alarm, so that such thing will not continue. You have not mentioned here your age that time so it is hard to consider the fault to be that of your age.
 
Many thanks however for your wonderful contributions. Merry Xmas and a burden free New Year 2008.

I will curse my elder sister's son ...

I have been reading this page with interest but let me make a contribution here on what you call 'incest'.
Incest depends on what you call it. I am a Christian but a Hausa. In our place, cousins could marry one another. Someone told me that in places like China, it is also culturally permitted. So why are we criticising this? If it is not allowed in some cultures, it is allowed in some. In sociology, this is called Divergent Rationality. So please educate the people along cultural lines.
Thank you,
Johnson

Response from Rev. & Mrs Nike Adeyemi
 
Mr. Johnson: You are a Christian and you don't know and understand what the Bible teaches about incest and you thought what was practiced in China and among the Hausa's is acceptable. The Bible refers to it as an abomination and incur the curse of God. For cousins to marry each other also is a curse and an abomination unto God. It appears unpleasing to the Lord and attracts the wrath of God.
 
I do strongly believe you would not like to indulge in anything that attracts the curse of God or rather an abomination. What we are therefore particular about is what the Bible teaches about incest not how people indulge in this bad practice.

I will curse my elder sister's son ...

- A side comment:

I read this story with a great sense of regret and pain in my heart because I had once fallen a victim. It is more painful because I know so many girls and boys who have also fallen victim of incest. And honestly, when all these happened to me, and perhaps to them, it was like a child's play.
I was taken to our home town the first time when i was about 20. I am the third in a family of six children. We all were meeting our extended family the first time since we were born. We were all kept in a room and we were all grown ups, from 12 to 20.
I remember that I saw this pretty girl and I was told she is the daughter of my father's cousin. Her mother was unlucky with marriage, had four children for three men. So all of them bore different surnames.
I was out of A' Levels and I was very very sexually active. I have been active since I was 15 or so in my secondary school days. I had my first girl when I was in Form 4. My parents did not know what I was really up to because the parental control was not actually there for us.
When I saw this girl at the home town, I just took an interest in her and before we knew what was happening, she too was expressing fondness for me. At night, we all slept in the same room, on the same mat and that was how i found myself sleeping next to her and disvirgined her. She was 16, I think.
She was a romantic girl. Bombarding me with love notes for that two weeks or so we spent in the village. Afterwards, we met again in the city and i could not but desire her again. By that time, she had woken up to the fact that we were related and we should stop it. I could not. I invited her out to a friends place and forced her into sex. I don't know if I should call that rape. Is that rape? After all, we had done it before.
Since then, I have not seen her till date. I am almost 50 now and born-again. This happened over 30 years ago. I have since repented and asked God to forgive me and have put the experience behind me.
The lesson here is that, parents must be careful. Don't be careless with your daughters, daughters especially. Men, we men are terrible. Not minding if the man is a pastor or Bishop or whatever. Anything can happen. When the penis of a man rises, his brain goes on a french leave. Incest is happening daily because parents are not attentive to the children. If it were possible for parents to ask their children about their sex lives, many parents will run mad.
I thank you elifeonline.net for this page. I bless God for Rev. and Mrs for your services here.

Paul,
Lagos Nigeria.

Response from Rev. & Mrs Nike Adeyemi

Paul:
God has forgiven your past and you should not allow your past to hunt you. However you have committed sin of fornication and the second attempt as you will like to know is rape as consent was not sought. There was no agreement between both of you, she was not prepared to do it and then you applied force and it amounted to rape.

I will curse my elder sister's son who disvirgined my daughter.

I am a single parent, living with two children. Their father left me because his mother was against my marriage to him. I agree that I also made my mistakes but the long and short of this story is I am today living alone with my children. Their father has not surfaced in more than eight years.
At a stage in my life, I had accommodation problem and I had to move in with my elder sister. She has grown ups, boys and girls and I thought it was a family affair. After about six months, I got a new accommodation and we left their home. That was three years ago.
Recently, my 16 years old daughter had a problem that exposed her past to me. I had always been boasting that my daughter is a virgin. In fact, for fear of getting her corrupted so early, I had to make her live with a church member because I thought that place is safer than where I live, as area boys and hooligans mill around the place.
When my daughter had this problem, it warranted the doctor to search her body and the doctor told me that she is not a virgin. And from what he saw, she has been having sex regularly. I nearly collapse.
After the problem was over and i took her home, I asked her who disvirgined her and she mentioned the name of my sister's son. She said he said she should not tell anyone. She was disvirgined at age 13!
Oh, I feel cheated. I feel like dying. The woman whom she lives with said they have opened shop for her to sell her goods. This is too much for me.
Pronto, I went to my sister's house and confronted her. She too was dumbfounded. The boy in question was was not home, now in the university. I told my sister that I have cursed her son, for what he did to me, taking advantage of my pains and raped my daughter.
Pastor, do you know how I feel? Do you know how it feels? Why is this world so cruel? Why do people take advantage of people who are in pains? I have been in pains since. No, I will curse the boy with all the pains in me. I will raise forces to fight him. I have been cheated.
Biola.

Response from Rev. & Mrs Nike Adeyemi

Sis. Biola,
It's sad to read your story.  Quite unfortunate! Nevertheless, the harm has been done and you don't even need to curse. You see, such things even happen between children of the same mother if the parents are not careful. The devil is a bad master. It's all his fault. Leave everything into the hands of God and pray that God will give you the grace to forgive  the boy and forget the whole issue, after all the boy in question is your son as well. 
I just pity the boy because there is always consequence for everything one does in life.  I pray  that the boy will realise and go to God for mercy.  Take care of your daughter. 
I wonder why she has to keep such a bad act from you. or does it mean she enjoys it too? Does she not know that such is an abomination?  She needs to ask for forgiveness as well and give her life to the Lord Jesus so she can have a new beginning of life. I pray for a divine touch of God upon her right now in Jesus name. (Did I hear your Amen?) Be close to your daughter and encourage her all the time.
Pastor(Mrs.) Adenike Adeyemi
CFM UK

My wife and I quarrel every December 25

My mother-in-law always hold Christmas party, not a party but a get-together, every December 25th. She cooks and children and grand-children gather to eat. This is a tradition I met in their family and we all have been attending since 1995 when i got married.
After 5 years, i reasoned that on Dec. 25, I should be home with my family and enjoy ourselves. But my wife insists we go to her mothers place. Since 2000, I stopped going, but allowed her and the children to go. My absence has always brought disagreement and malice between my wife and I which we carry till every New Year. This is how it has been since 2000. We remain sad till every New Year because only me amongst the in laws refused to attend her mother's party!
This year, I will not attend. And im serious sir.
Further more, I will stop my children and herself altogether. Or my children alone. I don't care what happens.
But I want to seek a superior counsel in case i am doing wrong. Christmas is nearby. My question is, must anybody control me on Dec 25th? Can't I decide what I do on that day? I am not suspecting my mother in law of anything but i want to be myself.

James Nnaemeka.

Wife Reacts
I thank you Madam for your advice.
My husband showed me this website and the advice you made to me though my he did not tell me he was seeking counsel on the internet.
I don't come online because I had always thought the internet is always used for criminal purposes. Not until I read this page and other pages, and the sermons website's that I knew I was missing so much. Anyway.
On my husband and fighting every December 25th, its true but my husband has not told the whole truth.
The fact is that he used to attend the party but when he suddenly realised that at his age he should have a car to cruise around and not having one is degrading him at his in-laws, he began to find reasons for not going.
My husband is at pains that at his age he has not been able to gather enough to buy a car. He is so obsessed with this inadequacy and lacks confidence because of this. He has broken away from some of his friends because he considers himself lower than them. If Emeka is the man I know, nobody is better than him. But on account of not having a car now, he is ashamed of visiting my in laws. He said he cannot be walking on the streets with his children and wife.
In fact, this state of mind has affected his church attendance. You know that in so many churches here in Lagos, you are rated and associated with according to how rich you are, the carsssss you drive and the testimonies of contracts you got, journey made to America, Dubai, Europe and your children admitted to Covenant University, where they pay big big amount for school fees.
Please speak to my husband for me that in our own time, God will make us big. I am happy with him. He is a focused man. A Masters degree holder. He is not a lazy man but things have not started working for him. He should wait on God and please be himself.
Truly, not having a car makes me sick too. I am quarter to 40. He is 43. But I have not allowed this car issue affect my self-esteem. This is the problem with my husband. I have confronted him with my views but he is not ready to own up. Ask him this question please: If he buys a car today, will he attend my mother's party on Christmas day? Please ask him this question and you will see that I am damn right.
Thank you ma.
Blessing.

 

Response from Rev. & Mrs Nike Adeyemi

Bro. James,
You are blessed. Calm down. While I am not supporting your going to your mother-in-law every December 25, you need to apply wisdom.  It sound as if your mother-in-law is a good mother to both of you.  You know about that culture before you took the lady to the Alter, you should have sorted it out. 
Now, all you need to do is to pray that God should give your wife understanding of your intention. Then call her and talk to her in love, tell her that things cannot continue that way.  Both of you may need to talk to your mother-in-law to give you permission to celebrate in your house and you can visit her on the 26th or any other day.  I'm sure she will understand and since she wouldn't want any crisis in her daughter's home, she will accept.  Although, if it is your mother, you may not want to stop going there. Men! (No offence). Can I talk to your wife please?
Madam James, be wise! Don't allow the devil to penetrate your home. If you insist, the outcome of the problem may not pay both of you.  Reason with your husband if that is what he wants and let there be peace in your home. It will be easier that way to appeal to your Mum than to run into crisis.  Marriage is a misery and only God is the best Overseer of homes and if you just allow Him through your prayers, He will sort out things for you since the heart of both your Mum and your Husband are in His hands.  Let there be peace!
Pastor(Mrs.) Adenike Adeyemi

James and Blessing:
If what your wife has said about you is the truth on your not having a car, and this is what is responsible for your not wanting to go to your in-law house to celebrate Christmas, then you must be ready to come out of that.

Your wife has realized your potential and absolutely accept your person as you are even without a car. Pls be hopeful that very soon, even this coming New Year 2008, you will be able to buy a car. How much is a car for God's sake? Even the two of you can cooperate together financially to buy one first and later the other for your wife.
Your wife in the midst of her family will be proud and able to stand and defend you, as she is proud of you as a graduate, and all things are possible for you employment wise. If not, because of the current state of the country, but with prayers you are coming out. Don't be ashamed because of car issues, stand tall and be hopeful, because all is well. Always think positive and shun inferiority complexes. You can make it in life and that is your portion this coming year 08.
Did I hear you saying a very big Amen. I am proud of you pls. Keep the flag flying and all will be well.


Our disagreement over "appropriateness" of sex.

Hello Rev. & Mrs. Nike Adeyemi,
I had to draw my husband to this website and to this page over our disagreement on sex at home. I have to thank God that he agrees we make it open here because of the anonymity we will enjoy, the advise we will get and the help it will be to people like me who disagree with their husbands on when, where and how to make love.

My Case (Wife)
My disagreement with my husband is on When, Where and How to make love. I have not said no to sex. My husband wants to make love to me in kitchen, bathroom, on the sofa in parlour, on the rug, everywhere in the house.
I have always thought this is odd. We should do it in the proper place: the bedroom, not minding if its afternoon or morning or whenever, but in the room. If we do it in the kitchen what about our children coming in? What examples are we laying for them?
That is not the only issue. When driving around quiet places around our home in Lekki, (I hope you know the Lekki area) my husband will park the car around a corner, be it afternoon, even in the morning on our way to office, or ... and say let us make love.
Sometimes when we are traveling to Ogbomosho where he comes from, he could park in the bush and say lets do it. Ha!
At home, he wants to dip it into my anus. He wants me to suck him. He wants to dip his tongue into me. I have always said, look, I am not running away. I am your wife till Jesus comes. Why are you always in hurry for sex and doing it a most horrible way? He has a large libido and oral sex is not ok for me.
We were married almost eight years ago and we have three children already. Left to me, I am through with sex. I want to praise God with my mouth and body, not sucking him. But not so for him.
My issue is, why dipping it into my anus? Why must I suck him? Cant we make love in the proper places and in the proper way? He kept saying, once he is married to me, whatever he demands of me is spiritually legal and God cant frown at it.
That is my case.
Mrs. Olu

My Case (Husband)
Don't mind my wife. She is proving to be more catholic than the pope. Too spiritual about things she should not. The bible is silent on how love should be made between legally married husband and wife. The issue is we should enjoy it. I can decide to enjoy sex anyhow, anywhere and anytime I want. As long as it is safe, decent and will not bring public ridicule. I hope she does not want to have a junior wife. (Laugh)
I once listened to Pastor Matthew Ashimolowo on TV saying, whatever happens in the bedroom between husband and wife (legally married) is not God's business. If I like I put it in her ear or nose, I am married to her. She has a duty to satisfy me. The bible says her desires should be for me all the days of her life. The bible says wife should be obedient and husband should love. I am playing my role and she is not obedient.
I want you to tell her that it is wrong for her to determine how I want it. Its the way I want it that matters. She should cooperate.
Thank you ma.
Mr Olu

Mrs Olu reacts:
I thank you Pastor. I hope he reads and listens. More particularly, I thank God because of the relative peace in the house since we put this issue to counselors. I recommend this website to all who need counselling. God will increase your wisdom. In Jesus name.

Mr. Olu reacts.
Pastor, sorry o, are you saying having sex with my wife anyhow i want it is wrong? I have not made love to her in the presence of my children. Don't mind my wife. That claim is wrong. I have not even tried to do that when the children are home. My wife has being behaving like the winner since yr counsel was published.
I am not satisfied. I appeal this case to your wife. Seriously.

Response from Rev. & Mrs Nike Adeyemi

Appropriateness in Sex
I have not been able to witness such openness, sincerity, and boldness on the internet as these couples before, and they sound and  appear to be living happily together as a couple except for their difference in appropriateness for sex.
As long as I would accept  that once you are married and have paid money for dowry among many others, the husband can do whatever he likes with the woman, but at the same time all things must be done decently and well too and not allowing the Children to be taught otherwise, having seen their parents engaging in sex in front of the Children. If you are not an Homosexual, I think anal intercourse may lead to infections. God advocated for Heterosexual intercourse by allowing for marriage between husband and wife.
HIV/AID and other forms of diseases emanated from having intercourse with lower animals, like Chimpanzee, donkey & anal sex with men to men etc.
You may touch, caress each other in the Kitchen and other areas of your apartment when the Children are not around. To engage in such a thing when the Children are around is to prompt them into such action in their School or with other mates, when you are not around. The appropriate accepted place for intercourse is the bed room with the door closed.
Your daughter may break her hymen for example if you are fingering yourself in her presence. It may become an emergency if you are not at home, and she is not to be blamed because you have laid an example for her to follow.
Children from such home sees no evil in pre-marital sex, and pregnancy before wedding. We must teach our Children the ways of the Lord please.
Rev Yomi Adeyemi,
CFM UK


Response from Mrs Nike Adeyemi

You are blessed Brother Olaitan. Thanks for the obedience. God will save your daughter and her Mum. We will surely be praying along with you.

I have been
molested sexually by men
I am a 30 year old Christian and a virgin though I don't really feel like one. I have been sexually molested by men since I was a teenager and it just seems it won't stop. Almost every man I know have touched me indecently and what baffles me most is that I hate it with a passion but am always afraid.
I have always believed that a woman should stay pure before marriage but it is not an easy thing for those of us that hold such opinions because even men of God have molested me.
Recently, I have gone through grief and in those months men have battered me sexually, married, single and even a minister of the gospel. All men ever want from me is sex, sex and only sex. When they don't get it they cut me off. I really hate men. I have so many thoughts running in my head, so many, like I really hate men, I really do. For all they have done to me.
What hurts me most is the reality that I hate sex before marriage but I am so helpless. With all my experiences, marriage has become so meaningless to me, if all a man wants is my body mmph.....
Just last week a man was all over me, I told him sex was out of the question, he said ok no sex, but we can touch and I told him touching leads to sex which is ungodly. Now he has stopped calling me.
All I want is to live my quiet life. Men are not worth the trouble. I just pray mothers will advise their girls more because that I know is what I lacked most. I grew up not knowing much about my body and men because nobody told me. I was always told of how ugly I was, that made me an easy prey for these hungry men.
Look, I am honestly tired. I would appreciate it if my comment is posted. Girls need to be aware that their bodies are theirs and the temple of the Lord not any man's. Am really tired and frustrated. why am I always treated like this?
Pls reply.
Baby

Response from Rev. & Mrs Nike Adeyemi


Baby,

It's quite unfortunate!
I know how you feel and God understands everything that had happened to you.   But listen, there is always a new beginning.  God is a perfect God who is able to perfect everything concerning you.
Never mind, you are starting all over again and I assure you, it is well with you.  You sound like a Church goer or a born again, whichever, all you need now is to go to God personally (in your privacy) ask for forgiveness for all your inadequacies, accept Jesus as your Lord and Saviour, ask God to give you a new beginning and nurture you for His Glory. Believe your prayers are answered and start to live your live as a born again Christian.  Forget all your past and forgive yourself.  Don't allow your past to hunt you or affect your future because after the prayer above, God has forgotten your past immediately. (Meditate on II Corin. 5:17). Forgive those men involved, they have their query with God, I hope they will go to God before it is too late.  It's sad to hear that a man of God can allow the devil to use him so far, so sad! isn't it? Still forgive him. I'm sure he must have regretted it. 
Baby, the life ahead is greater and better than the one you have lived. Go ahead with your life, communicate daily with the Lord, read and meditate the word of God and let the Holy Spirit guide you.  Attend a living Church and give your service unto the Lord. Give men a Gap and if there is any proposal first go to God in prayer and let your Pastor guide you before you go ahead with any relationship.  Note, this it may be dangerous at atimes to move too close to men of God alone, always carry their wives along. The devil is so cuny and can use any opportunity to destroy one.
We will be praying along with you as I commit you unto the everlasting hand of God.  Peace.
Mrs. Adeyemi


Your story is true and very pathetic, I have read through with genuineness, empathy and what have you. After said and done I have decided to write to you immediately. It is not over until its over.
I strongly believe that so many of the audience you had wanted to address will be able to amend their ways and sincerely believe that their bodies are the habitation of the Holy Spirit and not meant for sin, for the Bible had said sin shall no longer have dominion over you.
Parental support therefore is very important.  In a home where the husband is missing because of one reason or the other, Children that are reared in such an environment would grow up and lack discipline and if it was the woman that was missing, children reared in such family would lack love, affection and what have you.
Both parental upbringing is therefore advocated for proper Child rearing/development, The environment/ Community, peer group influences also have a part to play in Children development.
Do not condemn yourself, and do not be depressed up to extent of saying you are going to commit suicide, homicide or self harm. Believe you are not ugly, beauty is always in the eyes of the beholder. The day of your joy is very close.
I do hope to hear from you very soon.

Rev Yomi Adeyemi
CFM UK

Marrying an older woman.

Is it good for a man to marry a sister who is older than him? I need a genuine answer pls. Gbenga

Response from Rev. & Mrs Nike Adeyemi

There are different ways to look at the above question: It may be possible if its God's ordained for you to marry a Sister that is older than yourself and there is nothing bad about that. Also on the other hand, there is nothing bad for a woman to marry a man older than her if this is ordained by God, and it is God's choice for your life.

However the reasons why people consider age before choosing a partner is because of Men not wanting to die before their spouse or wife, so that the responsibilities of caring for the Children does not become their's alone. If your wife is just a little older than you do, for example, one or two years, I see no reason why you cannot spend the rest of your lives together.

I will like to mention here that men would also not like to marry women in their late's because of problem of child bearing as some women may not be able to ovulate again and may not be able to bear children, but not like Sarah and Hannah that had a delay because their womb was specially preserved to carry special Children. How many men would wait in faith if such problems ensued, in their marriage relationship? their delay was definitely not a denial as Sarah and Hannah were able to bring forth Special Children that shook the kingdom of darkness.

Bro Gbenga, what are you after? You better speak a clear language. Personally, there is nothing bad as I have clearly stated above and age should not be a barrier in any relationship that is God's.

Rev Yomi Adeyemi
CFM UK

Re: My Love Child is troubling me:

Let me first of all thank the facilitators of this website for this opportunity given me and people like me to voice out our pains to capable people who can help us.

I also thank Madam counselor for the frank manner she handled my case which I have since read and is published on the front page of this website. I guess this was done to help others in my situation. I thank you all.

I have since acted on the advise. I have returned to the child. I now pay her school fees. Take care of her. Did her birthday for her. I even chat with her mother more regularly in spite of the fact that I am not married to her. But I let our chat have limits. I chat with her because of the daughter. I am happy and they are all happy.

But for this advise, I would have been so unhappy with myself and refuse to take care of her on account of religion. However, I want you all to pray with me so that in some years to come, I will be able to claim my daughter and show her the way of the Lord.

Bless you all.
Olaitan

Response from Rev. Mrs Nike Adeyemi

You are blessed Brother Olaitan.
Thanks for the obedience. God will save your daughter and her Mum.
We will surely be praying along with you.

My wife ridicules me because I have no car yet

Hello to you,
My question borders on my relationship with my wife. I know I am not a lazy man. I have worked for years as a journalist and things have not really clicked because of the nature of the job and the economy of the country.

My wife, on account of my financial state has a very very low estimation of me and my job. At the slightest opportunity, she ridicules me, even praying loudly to the hearing of the children that none of you will be journalist in Jesus name. When my journalist friends come to my house, she greets them sharply and when they go, she says they dress horribly, that my job is a poor mans job. She insist I change job but after 10 years on this job, and I know no other job, what can I do? I enjoy my work and I know it will be better but I have no peace at home because my wife has a poor regard for my job.

I have never failed to pay school fees of the children. I know they are not hungry. I know I do my best but because I have no car yet, and I don't give her thousands to buy clothes and dress like her friends, she is gradually killing me at home. Don't know what to do .
Peter,
Lagos .

 Response from Rev. Mrs Nike Adeyemi

Bro. Peter, You've got no problem. I doubt if your wife is a born again child of God. No wonder she is not contented with the gift of God in her life. Some of her age mates are outside there believing God for a husband. Some are married but have to carry all the responsibilities in their home, yet they never complain. Anyway, your wife has a choice. Her Vashti can pack out and let the Esther of this generation pack in. Never less, God is not interested in your divorce, so please go ahead and pray for her genuine salvation. I know God will change her and she will become a wife of your dream. Shalom.

What is Deliverance?
I want to know if deliverance is a necessary step to overcoming family challenges or personal challenges. I have not done one before but I need to know if, in my quest for solution to my problems, I need to do one.

Another issue is I don't want to fall into wrong hands. So many pastors cant be trusted these days in Nigeria. We don't know who is who again.
Taiwo Hassan,
Lagos.

Response from Rev. Mrs Nike Adeyemi

You cannot say at what point Deliverance may be necessary as a child of God, but what I understand is that Deliverance is for every Child of God even the Minister of the Gospel at times, whether it is used to solve personal or family issues does not come to play but after all said and done to witness evident solution to your problems is the concern. Children of God had always resolve to the use of Deliverance when they are at cross road of life and had used that to cross over their hurdles and problems. On the other hand, you may be able to know a true Pastor by their fruits. Any Pastor that doesn't believe that Jesus came in the flesh and died for our sins and preach about this, is not a true Pastor.

Those that do not Preach the balanced truth of the word of God e.g. Preaching about holiness, repentance from sins, coming Judgment of Christ, reconciliation of the world, discipleship Holy communion/breaking of bread, and evangelism a must is not part of God's Kingdom. Watch those that limits their preaching to Prosperity alone. I am not saying here that Prosperity is not part of the true Church, but those Pastors that forces their brethren into borrowings and even loans in the name of Christ may not be worshipping the true God.

Any vision that God had commission, there are always a Provision for such vision, not until you start to beg and force your members. God can send to you faithful disciples in tithe and offering to sustain His ministries if you are a faithful servant of God. Finally watch the disciples such Pastors are able to raise and depend on the Holy- Spirit of God for discernment and direction. Rev Yomi Adeyemi CFM UK



Help me before I lose three Children. (Mrs. BAA writes again)

Hello Madam,
I am Betty, the lady who wrote in many months ago about the sin I committed with an old boyfriend while in Nigeria. You titled my ordeal Help me before I lose three Children. I thank you all for your support and prayers. I am fully settled in America. I have re-established contact with my husband. He has not re-married. He now allows me to speak with my Children and he has said if I can help them to come to me in America, I should. This is the greatest news all my life. I even send him money because I learnt he is not finding it easy with the children because of the economic situation at home. Anytime I tried speaking like his wife, he rebuffs me, or drop the call or do something that shows me that though he was hurt, but he still loves me.

I know this is not my making. If he is my husband that I know, I know in a matter of months we shall be back. He once told me that since I left more than a year ago, he has not slept with another woman. I want to believe him. He was like that. I betrayed him. He said his mother is pestering him to remarry and they are pushing one Polytechnic graduate to him. But he said he has never seen that lady as a replacement for me. I am asking God to carry out a surgical operation in his heart and bring us to full restoration. I ask God to restore my home. I want my home back. Living as a single woman is fraught with sorrows. I am working to bring my children here, and possibly, him too, because I cant go back to Nigeria and face those people.

I seize this opportunity to thank you Madam for your advices, you, your husband, Topsie Ade in London and Godwin, that guy who abused me in pidgin English. You and your husband responses to me, after my husband turned nasty, re-assured me that God has not finished with me.

Madam, I am ok today. God has restored me. I have a great job. I am doing well in the Church here. But for the fact that I am still ashamed to face my past, I would have either come to see you in England or invite you here. I am in Ohio. Since I came here, no boyfriend, no relationship, no sex. God knows. Oh, I regret what I did.

Please join me in prayers that I will have my home back, not in Nigeria but here in Ohio. That may my husband be hungry for me. That may he forgive me totally and forget the past. Moreover, that my children, now healthy, forgive me and be here with me before end of April in Jesus name.
Thank you madam. I cannot thank you enough.
Betty.

Response from Rev. Mrs Nike Adeyemi

We all read through the result of your complete obedience to the Holy Spirit. The beginning of obedience is always very painful but the end is what you are reaping now. Meditate on Psa 30:5. Weeping may only endure for a night but Joy comes in the morning. I strongly believe with you that very soon, you will forget the labour of your youth and begin a marital bliss. We shall join you here in prayers until your better becomes best and your home is restored. Hope to hear from you soon.
Rev Yomi Adeyemi CFM UK

 

How to hear from God

My question is how do you hear from God? I have just listened to a CD by Bishop David Oyedepo, where he said one of the biggest problems we all have is our inability to hear from God clearly. And that NOT many pastors can say they were actually called by God and that is why they are struggling all the days of their lives. He said God does not pay for what He does not sponsor.
I am a business man and my business has to do with the gospel. But I'm still struggling after seven years. After listening to the sermon, I have been asking myself how do I hear from God? Is it by reading the Bible and applicating some verses to oneself or is by dreaming and God speaks to you in a dream or what? If a thought comes to my mind, how do I know if its from God or devil? Please help me ma.
Solomon Obande,
Makurdi.
Response from Rev. & Mrs Nike Adeyemi

Dear Solomon Obande,

There are many ways by which you may hear from God.

1) Hearing through your Personal Spiritual Development:
God was trying to reach out to Samuel but not through an intermediary, but because of poor Spiritual development, Samuel was not able to identify the voice of God but misinterpreted it to be a voice of man (Eli) and instead of him to report to God, he reported himself to a man. In majority of cases that require our reporting to God today, we have been reporting to false Prophets and same has been mishandled and some misled and are on their way to hell. Meditate on 1 Sam 3 1-9. I have not said here that Eli was a false Prophet, although he carries the blame of not teaching his sons in the way of the Lord.

However God would prefer to speak directly to you to prevent Confusion, and loss of instruction. Ever since Adam has shifted his disobedience to Eve, that God has given him, in the Garden of Eden, God has been trying if possible to avoid an intermediary.

At these last days the Lord has promised His outpouring of the Holy- Spirit in Joel 2:26-28. Any young man, youth alike that must see vision must be alert and put on the strength of the Lord, not sleeping, because sleeping is meant for the old that must dreamed dreams. Rom 13:11-14 says the night is far spent, the day is at hand, let us therefore cast off the work of darkness and let us put on the amour of light......

2) Hearing God through His word.
God understands all languages, but the language that God speaks and communicate with is His word. God cannot deny His word, heaven and Earth shall pass away, but the word of God abides for ever.

God a times may be speaking to you, and you may lack understanding because of your poor meditation in the word of God. This is the reason why God encouraged Joshua as he takes over from Moses to Meditate in the word and not in the world. Josh 1:8. Children of God today can spend time in other's person affairs, backbiting, in things that do not concern them. They spend more time in the world than the word and cannot hear the voice of God. Meditate on Col 3:16

It says: Let the word of Christ dwell in you in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. However the letter killeth....... only the Children of the Kingdom with indwelling Holy- Spirit can understand the word of God. Some will just read the Bible like a novel ( Mills and Boons) without getting anything out of it. Whereas the Bible still speaks today.

3) Hearing God through the Holy- Spirit.
We have three ( 3) Dispensations,- Dispensation of God the father, God the Son, and now is the dispensation of God ( The Holy- Spirit) God had said I will not leave you comfortless but I shall send to you the Holy-Spirit which shall guide you into all truth. John 16:13-20. This is time for us to get closer to the Holy- Spirit for discernment, support, help and for Him to reveal Christ and the father more to us. Without me you can do nothing John 15: 4 -5 Without total reliance on the Holy Spirit of God, You will continue to fail, and fall.

As a Church of God, Jesus is only here with us in form of the Holy- Spirit, because he has gone to possess a kingdom for us and promise to come back to take us to where He is. We therefore require the help of Holy- Spirit for Spiritual sustenance, now that sins are available all over the place, even on the television. Sins are as close to you as your ears, but with the help of the Holy- Spirit you are more than conqueror. Holy -Spirit convicts of sins and approve Holy living, and righteousness.

4) Hearing God through Prophets and word of Knowledge.
You can hear God through the word of Knowledge through Minister of God, (The Prophets) But you must try all Spirits and know that which is of God or not. Those that do not believe Jesus came into the world and died for our sins are not of Him, and those that does not believe in His second coming and resurrection, beware of them. Those that preach only prosperity and not Holiness and righteousness and sin may not be considered His.

In the old testament the Prophets uses ( URIM & THUMIM) and wear linen Ephod. But today you need the Spirit of discernment to know the false prophets

5) Hearing God through Dreams
It is widely possible today to hear God through your dreams. It is a way of God trying to prevent and limit intermediaries. But some Children of God now a days do not take their dreams very serious. You may need to cancel any dream that are not good and also pray for good ones to come to pass. You don't need to be anxious because of a bad dream, all you need to do is to wake up and pray and cancel them through fervent prayers.

You may also require interpreting dreams of others and not being selfish like Joseph. Until he learns to interpret the dreams of others, he was struggling for survival from the pit to the prison. But after interpreting the dreams of Butler and Baker, the Power of God transported him immediately to the place of Destiny. Gen 40; 8-14 Don't ever give up, but dare to dream another dream until your vision becomes a mission!

Rev Yomi Adeyemi ,
CFM UK


Differences between my husband and I on doctrines

My husband and I attended different Churches before we were married. His church has different ideas on dressing and doctrines etc. Even though we are both born again, we differed on these and he promised we would work this out.
Well it has been tough. He won't choose a common church and doesn't want me to put on jewelry even though i was wearing all this before we got married. He will only attend a particular church and just criticizes other Churches. What can I do? Can this marriage work?
Toyosi

Response from Rev. & Mrs Nike Adeyemi

Dear Sister Toyosi,
I have just got a glimpse of your story and complaint on Doctrinal issues as pertaining to dress code, however I have left that for my wife to attend and she will get back to you ASAP.(As soon as possible)
I want you to bear in mind that your marriage will work if you want to, and prophesied it will. There is power in your tongue, and what you believe and profess and say always. I thought I hear you change your word and says " My marriage will work"
The Lord is still in the Business of making your home " Heaven on Earth" an abode for saints, if you it will work.
Until then,
Rev Yomi Adeyemi
CFM UK

Sister Toyosi,
Your marriage will surely work if you wish. Always confess positively. There is power in your tongue. I want you to meditate on Proverbs 14:1 , Eph.5:22-24. The issue on doctrine is very simple and depends on individual's interpretation of the word of God. You should not allow that to break your home. Since you did not resolve it before going into marriage, you must exercise patience and be prayerful. God expects you and your husband to pray and worship together, eat and do all things together as you have become one. Just be at peace with him, try to search the scriptures together and let the Holy Spirit directs you . The issue of doctrine is simple, both of you could be right and could be wrong. For example, in the old Testament, the children of Israel misused jewellery (idol) and God was not pleased with them ,hence some Churches picked the doctrine of not using jewellery whereas, in the New Testament -
1 Tim 2:9, the bible requires women to dress moderately- gold, dresses and hair inclusive, but emphasize on the need for women to have good works. That is why you see many women even great women of God using jewellery. Just give your husband time and do everything in humility and in prayer. There is nothing prayer cannot sort out for you. God is interested in your marriage and you have a lot to do for God rather than spending the whole day disagreeing on doctrine. Time is going and God can come at any time. I commit you under the everlasting hand of God to carry you and grant you peace in your home. I look forward to read from you again. Shalom.

Fear of HIV
Sir, I often fall ill, fever, headache, catarrh etc. Someone said I should go for HIV test but I'm scared because I know the kind of life I have lived long before the noise of HIV became popular. My wife had done HIV test but negative. Same with my 2 children. But I have not. I am afraid to do that test. I keep praying that God will take sickness away from me. Please join me sir.
Ibe Nwachukwu
Port Harcourt

Response from Rev. & Mrs Nike Adeyemi

Bro Ibe,
Calm down, God is in control. Have you received Lord Jesus as your personal Lord and Saviour? If not, quickly do that now.( Say after me; Lord Jesus, I come to you today to ask for your mercy, I accept that I am a sinner (confess your sin) forgive me and cleanse me with your precious blood. I accept you today as my personal Lord and Saviour.
Henceforth by your grace I will not go back into sin. Please write my name in the book of Life and help me to remain in you to eternity. Thank you Lord Jesus for accepting me. I am now a born again child of God) Congratulations! Now You are saved and the package of your salvation includes HEALING, deliverance, blessings of all type, peace ,joy etc. Now turn your Bible to III John verse 2 (The mind of God concerning your healing), Isaiah 53:1-5 ( Lord Jesus provision for your healing ) and many more ........ Just read, meditate and pray in the word of God and believe you are healed of ALL your diseases.
Join yourself to a living Church, give your service to God, run away from sin and it shall be well with you. Read Mat.4:23 (Jesus is visiting you for healing right now). Have faith, focus on God rather than what your situation and circumstances are telling you. Sickness is demonic just as my husband has told you but righteousness delivereth from death (Prov.10:2). Move closer to the Pastor of your church and he will guide you further. Fear not, you are in the hands of God.
Rev. (Mrs.) Adenike Adeyemi
CFM, UK



Dear Ibe,
I wish to react to your letter requesting for support because of your fear of the above dreadful and incurable disease.
My first question is to ask whether you are now Born- Again and have totally surrender your life to God through salvation and accepting Christ as Saviour. If your answer is yes, then meditate on the book of Isaiah 41:10
Fear not for I am with you, be not be dismayed for I am thy God, I will strengthen thee, ye I will help thee.
The approach of Christ to all incurable diseases diseases starting from Mental health disease to Hiv/Aids has always been, how many of you are there ( legions ) and He would always say Get out of Him. Although because Hiv/aids involve coitus and contact with the opposite sex because of continuous cravings for sex, people do neglect the fact that incurable diseases could be caused by the demons in legions.
Cravings for whatever, Cannabis, Cocaine, Heroine and sex come from the devil and you may not be able to stop at a junction until you get to the last Bus stop. The last bus stop is always from sexually transmitted diseases like gonorrhea to syphilis, candida Albican, all these are junctions or comma but the bus stop is HIV/AIDS OR FULL STOP. But with men it may be impossible but with God all things are possible. LK 1:37.
A good example is the man of Gaderene with incurable diseases of Mental illness. All the signs and symptoms of what he manifested was a pointer to the fact that he suffers from mental health problem. Jesus did not apply injection or medication but commanded the demons in legion to vacate as strangers where the Holy-Spirit of God was to fill. When the landlord has come, tenants has to vacate the house.
The Bible advised that sickness are strangers and they shall be grieved and run out of their hidden places.

Solution:
You must confess your sins to God and be genuinely Born- Again

Take hold of all the Promises of God related to healing e.g Exo 15: 26 , 3 John 2
Jere 30:17-19 Isa 53: 1-5 etc

Bind the demons and cast them off by the name of Jesus and cover yourself with the blood of Jesus.

If you are exercising fear to attend test, hold on the word of God that you will not die but live to declare His Glory Psa 118: 17
Bind the spirit of death and cast them off and invite the spirit of God to consume them

Attend prayer regularly, Spirit- filled Church programme and deliverance where necessary.

Meditate on the word of God all the time and avoid depression setting into you. Josh 1;8

I hope to hear from you very soon. You may wish to get my book ( Hope in Despair) It address this problem.

Rev Yomi Adeyemi
CFM UK

Stole books
When I was a young boy, I loved reading books but I had no money to buy. My parents were too poor to afford judging by the fact that my country Angola went through war for a very long time. So I stole so many books from a public library in Luanda, Angola. Today, I have a phd and well remunerated in a company here in Estonia.
Recently, I visited home and found out that the library is empty. All books gone and the younger generations have no books to read. I could have stole about 30 books from the library. I confessed to my wife and she said I should go and tell my pastor or go to the library and tell them and make restitutions. Is this right? This will expose me to public ridicule. Don't you think so?
Jean B.,
Estonia.

 

Pastor,
Thanks for your immediate answer. I just saw it and had to respond. I agree that I will do restitution. But the question is should I confess all these to my pastor as my wife suggests? Or go to the library and tell them? Wont restitution expose me to ridicule? How can I do it neatly?
Jean.

Response from Rev. & Mrs Nike Adeyemi

What an amazing story to hear. You have stole through your PHD and now you are sad to reflect on your past experience to PHD level.
My brother, you require restitution and this involve your returning those Books you have stolen and even buying an additional new ones to the library. Your past lives of stealing might have deprived many Children of books to read and have resulted in their failure, no wonder Children like these become culprits instead of becoming graduates like yourself. But you can genuinely repent today and make amends
The Bible has this to say in Exo 22:4 " If the thief be certainly found in his hand alive whether it be ox or ass or sheep, he shall restore double.
Meditate on Lev.6:4 and the confession of Zacchaeus in LK 19: 1-8
Some believers however do not believe in Restitution but the Bible teaches and commands it, most especially if you want to experience peace of the mind and that of God plus true blessings.
I anticipate a reply very soon of your obedience and any other question that may come out of this. Bless you.

Rev Yomi Adeyemi
CFM UK


Response to Jean Queries
You can make the confession/restitution to your Pastor, who in turn will direct you how to make the restitution in the Library.
I must confess that making the restitution cannot lead to any shame because God is the authour of restitution and would see this as Obedience. Do not think of shame, because you are on your way to double honour if you completely obey pls.

Rev Yomi Adeyemi
Christ Foundation Min. UK

I am always afraid, my mind speaks negative things to me always.

How can I solve this issue? My mind is always in the negative in spite of the fact that I am a Christian and a departmental head in my Church. If I'm sick, i think of HIV always. When I'm ok, I forget. I have a little swelling on my head, something tells me its a tumour, and it could become cancer. But I always rebuke that thought. Generally, when something happens to me, my mind takes it too far in negative ways. I keep praying but it has not stopped. How can I attack this? Is it a spirit?
Andrew Isabela,
Zambia

Response from Rev. & Mrs Nike Adeyemi

ANDREW ISABELA
Do not allow your mind to switch to the negative, you need at all times to be in control of your thoughts and the only way to be that is to be a friend to your bible and always meditate in God's word. It is not ideal for you to think negative because as a man thinketh in his heart so he is ( prov 23:7) All the thinking comes from the heart and tells us the condition of the heart. Your heart is therefore healthy if you are thinking right and otherwise if you are struggling.
Hypertension, heart ache, heart attack, cerebro-vascular accident ( Sudden Death)etc results from hearts that are not right. It shall not be your portion in Jesus name. It is time you befriend your bible . The book of Joshua 1:8 advised that this book of the law must not depart from your mouth... etc the good success here meanth good health and prosperity. Choose good health therefore my friend pls.
Rev Yomi Adeyemi
CFM UK FEAR OF HIV



My mother Vs my wife
I don't know what to do on this matter between my wife and my mother. Since I lost my dad in 2000, my mother has not been in good health. I am the only child here in Lagos as my siblings and elder sister are all abroad. Mother had gone to stay with elder sister in London but they fought and fought and fought because mother still thinks and sees her as a daughter, not as someone's wife of 18 years and mother of three. It got so bad that mother was sent home and relationship between sister and mum has been bad.
Now she is with me. Same problem daily with my wife. But I always appeal to my wife to keep her cool. I arranged to get a place for her, close to me so I could even monitor her, ut she said if she packs out of my house, she is going to a town where I know she would be so exposed to danger from my fathers family, whom we were not close to.
Staying with me, she visits people whom I avoid. Calls people on phone, those who do not even ask for her in the last 10 years. Gives families my home address and phone number, people I rather stay away from. She makes friends with neighbours who would rather stay on their own. And when I warn her that this is Lagos where we do konko jabele, kaluku lomi se tie, she says that is not what Jesus said. She just join a church and she behaves as if she is the best Christian around.
Because she stays in London for two years, she has a high regard for herself and wants to do things big in church. This is not convenient for my pocket. In short I'm tired of my mum staying with me.
What can I do? Please help me.
Solomon

Response from Rev. & Mrs Nike Adeyemi

Solomon,
Your mother has become a threat to your family having also become a threat to others. Even your elder sister in Britain can no longer accommodate her and she now lives with you.
It is very hard to decide between your wife and your mother, but the best for her is to find an accommodation and be there alone and very close for you to monitor and supervise her, without that, every thing you do with your wife will be irritating to her, and may be using this as a weapon to tell those outside what yourself and your wife do in the secret. She may also lord some negative reactions on you to implement against your wife. Failing to implement this may make her to completely hate you. Her presence may cause lots of disagreement between you and your wife.
As much as you will not be able to marry your mother, then it is best therefore to live apart and the reason why I have recommend a separate apartment for her to live with your supervision.
I wish you a merry Xmas without trouble and a sweatless triumphant new year 2008.

Rev Yomi Adeyemi
CFM UK