THINGS YOU MUST NOT DO
Never separate.
Some couples do erroneously think that it is better to "give a gap" when there is crisis "so as to make the temper cool down". The truth is, the longer you separate from your spouse the more difficult it becomes to come together again. Avoid separation as much as possible. Stay in that marriage to make it work.
Never involve the third party.
There is always the temptation of involving outside parties whenever there is crisis at home, but most of the time third party is always bias and may not say the truth or ma~ even have their hidden agenda against your marriage hence never involve 3rd party except your pastor and counselor.
Never give up.
Do not give up on your marriage, it is not yet over. Never say you have tried your best, until your marriage becomes the best, you have not tried your best.
No divorce.
Never think of divorce don't even consider it as an option, stay i~ that marriage to make it work.
THINGS TO DO
1) Pray.
Do not neglect prayer at this hour of need. Pray, pray, pray, talk more to God than you talk to men. With God, nothing shall be impossible, He will turn your battle around and give your marriage a new lease of life.
(2) Check Yourself.
In a bad marriage, it is easy to blame our spouse, mother-in-law, friends, devil or even God for our situation, the last person we will blame will be ourselves and this should not be. Examine yourselves, blame yourselves, your spouse can not take 100% of the blame, you have a fair share of the blame, hence, check yourself make amend. If you want to know the real enemy of your marriage look through the mirror.
(3) Go For Counsel.
Never wait till when your marriage is in a coma before you look for help, seek help from expert pastors or Christian marriage counsellor and do whatever your counsellor ask you to do.
(4) Make a positive List.
Though you are hurt, you have been truly offended, but to give your marriage a new lease of life, do something unusual, bring out a sheet of paper and Biro and list every good thing your spouse has done for you in the past, list at least 20 of them. This will help you to focus your marriage crisis with a sound mind and make it easy for you to forgive and speak the truth in love. It takes maturity to do this, I hope you are matured?
(5) Check your Wedding Pictures.
Bring out your wedding pictures, look at them, remember how happy your family, friends, yourself and even God were on that day. Will you disappoint all of them? Will God be glorified if you do anything nasty with that marriage? Think twice and fight for the survival of your marriage.
(6) Count the Cost.
Did you know that a bad marriage and divorce is more expensive than a good marriage? Yes, it is; The cost is enormous physically, socially, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. It will tell on your life and that of your children, keep your marriage jealously never let God down.
(7) Give .room for reconciliation.
Do not close your mind against reconciliation, give room for it, do not be a difficult partner, be a peace maker, not a truce breaker.
(8) Talk to your spouse.
Without communication there will be frustration, talk to your spouse in love settle your disputes and disagreement with positive heart to heart discussion.
(9) Forgive Generously.
To err is human, to forgive is divine, forgive your spouse and restore old relationship, remember a successful marriage is a relationship between two forgivers.
