* Let God be the central point.
As long as a man/woman keep their vertical relationship with God intact, the horizontal relationship with spouses can be preserved, realize God is your provider, He wants to be involved with your marriage.
* Love Unconditionally.
Don't try to change your spouse, love what God has created, both core imperfect, unconditional love takes this stance you blew it nevertheless I still love you.
Genuine love operates like faith, it is not based on feelings or lust, some days you don't feel it but you know it is there (I Cor. 13:4). Love means constant giving. All your desires and dreams can't be fulfilled by marriage.
*Llsten Intently.
Listen with your, hear the things not said, notice the sigh, a tear, moan or downcast countenance, ask sincere questions, become an expert in understanding non-verbal communication, so that you can truly understand what your spouse is going through and how he/she is feeling. Empathize not sympathize.
* Be realistic on your expections
Don't expect your spouse to meet all your emotional needs, some needs can only be filled by others and God.
*Value your role in the relationship
Understand and appreciate the role you play in your spouses life, nobody else can do it but you, don't belittle your role. Realize you have the power to build up or destroy the spirit of your spouse. Choose to fulfill your role to the very best of your ability, guide it jealously; don't let anyone else take it.
* Appreciate your spouse
Appreciate your spouse for who he/she is, and for what he/she does for you. Give genuine compliments.
*Give your spouse sufficient space
Don't over crowd your spouse, allow him/her to have a quiet spirit before God. Ask if need be.
* Appreciate your spouse physically.
No person has a perfect physique, find your spouses strongest traits and compliment them everyone likes to be told he/she is attractive.
* Stay onm the journey together.
Develop a new understanding of your marriage as a journey not as a destination, don't expect your marriage to ever arrive, it is the only institution you don't graduate from, keep learning and discovering, depths and heights together. You are both on a journey, enjoy the adventure. Take time to hold your hands when the road becomes treacherous, cling together in times of danger and difficulties, remember, one will chase a thousand and two, ten thousand.
Pst. (Mrs) Ruth Johnson is the wife of Pastor Robert Johnson of Kings Mission Centre, Lagos NIgeria.
