My wife ridicules me because I have no car yet

Hello to you,
My question borders on my relationship with my wife. I know I am not a lazy man. I have worked for years as a journalist and things have not really clicked because of the nature of the job and the economy of the country.

My wife, on account of my financial state has a very very low estimation of me and my job. At the slightest opportunity, she ridicules me, even praying loudly to the hearing of the children that none of you will be journalist in Jesus name. When my journalist friends come to my house, she greets them sharply and when they go, she says they dress horribly, that my job is a poor mans job. She insist I change job but after 10 years on this job, and I know no other job, what can I do? I enjoy my work and I know it will be better but I have no peace at home because my wife has a poor regard for my job.

I have never failed to pay school fees of the children. I know they are not hungry. I know I do my best but because I have no car yet, and I don't give her thousands to buy clothes and dress like her friends, she is gradually killing me at home. Don't know what to do .
Peter,
Lagos .

Bro. Peter, You've got no problem. I doubt if your wife is a born again child of God. No wonder she is not contented with the gift of God in her life. Some of her age mates are outside there believing God for a husband. Some are married but have to carry all the responsibilities in their home, yet they never complain. Anyway, your wife has a choice. Her Vashti can pack out and let the Esther of this generation pack in. Never less, God is not interested in your divorce, so please go ahead and pray for her genuine salvation. I know God will change her and she will become a wife of your dream. Shalom.

They always ask for sex

I was engaged to a brother for a period of 3 years. During which I faced a serious sexual pressure. I persistently declined. This and some other factors, such as his nonchalant attitude towards me and the relationship, made us break up the relationship. One of the problems was he was double dating.

At some point, I tried evaluating the entire journey with him, to find out my areas of shortcomings.  I found out that I did put in all, except yielding to his sexual urges and advances. I felt drained emotionally. I think i really tried making the relationship work. I eventually got involved with another person. Note, both are Christians. The same was the story.

I read your article titled 'How to know if your man really loves you or not' the latter was a replica of the article. These two people usually start on a pleasant ground.

1. WHY this sexual pressures from Christians?
2. I have asked myself if i have a ‘seducing spirit', that most men seek only that from me.   
3. Do I also deserve unconditional love as i offer them.

Right now, my life hurts so badly. Who do I trust? I know I can trust God. If I am 22years of age I would have taken a 5year break but I am not.

These two people cannot be called wrong, 'cause they are good in there own respects, but what about the 7 years wasted in between these two? 
I pray for God's healing, I am not too sure I can love anyone as I have with these two especially the latter.
Is anything wrong with me, what COULD i have been doing  wrongly?

 Yours,
Adeola.

My love Child is troubling me

It's good to have this online counseling forum where one could speak his deep sorrows to someone you don't know, someone who will not laugh at you and yet give good advice from which others could learn.

My challenge is that I had a daughter before I got married to my present wife. Of course, I told my wife the truth that a Muslim girl had a daughter for me when I was still single and the child is still with her. I could not marry this Muslim girl because it was impossible for me to marry a school certificate holder and by the way, a Muslim and she had no intention of going back to school.

She had many things not going for her then. She is not properly polished. I just graduated and just got a poorly paying job. I needed help to feed well. Her father was the landlord of the house I stayed with my friends, five of us in a room. So she would bring food for us but I was the fasted to date her. I was very fast with women. I just thought of sleeping with her but she thought she could trap me with a child.

She came from a polygamous home and she was looking for an escape route from her troubled father's house. Her mother was dead. I noted all these then but I thought I could escape somehow after enjoying her. But she pulled a fast one! But I insisted that sleeping with her does not mean I wanted to marry her. That time, I just wanted a sleeper, not a wife. Today, I'm born-again but my sin is troubling me.

Now the child is 9 years-old and a Muslim because she is with her mum. I am a Christian, born-again and strong in the Lord with my wife. That lady is still not married. I want to take this daughter but her mother is ready to do anything to stop me. I am sad that I have a daughter outside my home, more so practicing Islam. I heard that her mother covers her hair in an Islamic manner when going to school. When I call my daughter on phone to sing a song for, she says she cannot sing any Christian song, and in fact, she goes on to quote the Qur'an for me. Many times I was moved to tears that what kind of mistake I made in those days of ignorance.

I must confess to you that I used to pay her school fees. But I had stopped because of her mother's disposition and because she is not with me, I often overlook sending her money. I have three children now with my wife.

I am about to seek a legal counsel and fight to take my child, because I think the earlier I bring her up in the way of the Lord, the better. But you know these Muslims. I have heard her mother say, she is ready to do just anything to keep my daughter to herself. And that she would show me if I try her. This is a constant source of worry for me. What can I do? I am ready to answer any questions you have for me on this issue.
Thanks
Olaitan.

Am I operating under a curse?

I thank the owners of this web site for this facility. May the Lord bless them.

I have been praying for long on how to write this mail without taking much time and space because when I think of my challenges, its like I will have to write 100 pages.

When my father was ‘alive', he once told me that when he was young in his village, and that was around the late 1930's and early 1940's, someone looked at his palm and told him that people like him never work with their hands and gather money. My father was forced to tell me this after a lot of agony we were going through in our family when we children were very young.

My Father had lots of challenges when he was young. He lost his mother when he was in Primary 4. His father (our grand pa) had two, three wives. The third wife was another man's wife which he impregnated. The child resulting from that incest looks like him but claims another father. I met the man once when I was young but he had distaste for us and his biological father.

My dad never wanted us to have anything to do with his family. He knew them well. But my mother was always saying how could we have a mother's house without having fathers house? And if she yielded to our fathers wish, very soon, people would say she was the one telling him not to allow us interact with his family. When we were young and my mother took us to our father's home town, the kind of problems, fight, bickering we saw were terrible.

Mother tried to unite us with dad's extended family; still, they proved their colours. At a stage, when I was in secondary school, we children resolved to steer clear of the family. Dad was very educated. My mother was tailor but they gave us children the best education. We are all graduates. At a stage, my father got missing. It's over 10 years now that we have not seen him. For upward of five years after he got missing, my mum did the impossible to find him. Where did she not get to? It's a stigma on her, even on us children. It was a terrible blow. Our people will say, my child is dead is better than my child is lost.

When grand pa died, how he died, none of us knew. His two children, my dad, and another child were not successful. Since we were young, we saw that the two of them don't even see face to face. The family house, on which there was so much bickering, we learnt, has collapsed. We heard that grand pa and his wife were buried by the community. I heard all these because these days, I began to ask questions about where I come from.

The problem now is we children are not finding it easy in life. It's been from one struggle to the other. Even my younger brother who is abroad is not finding it easy. I am well over 40. I'm still eating from hand to mouth though when people see me outside, it's like I'm so rich. I don't look dirty or hungry, same with my wife and children. But I know where the fire is burning me. If I don't exhaust one profit, I don't get another. I am well read, handsome and popular wherever I am. People recognised me easily in any gathering I find myself. They think I'm big. But I know the truth about myself. When I go out to clients, they think I have a jeep outside, and I act it. But it's a lie. My business has to do with the gospel but I am not making breakthrough the way I should.

My fears are these: Am I operating under a curse? I have heard of so many people going for deliverance, do I need it? Where can I go? Who do you know who could do it for me? I used to pray well b4, but these days, because of fear of how will I make it in life, my intensity has dropped. I'm so wearied. I sleep in fear of when will my breakthrough come. I wake in fear of when will my breakthrough come. I am not lazy. I know I work so hard. Madam, I WORK SO HARD EVERYDAY. But I eat like an ant.

People around me keep telling me that a man who does not know where and how his mates make it in life will die running. I'm a Pentecostal Christian. A deacon and a departmental coordinator. But one of the few deacons without a car. I'm being tempted to consult some Baba at the white garment Churches, though deep down in me, my soul and body rejects it. I hate things like praying at the beaches. Oh, I hate such things. But I've seen people that its works for. I am 43, less than 7 years to 50. Naturally, the body is getting weaker daily. I trust God but when will my trust yield dividends?

Madam, help me. I don't want to die in poverty. What principles am I overlooking?

Thank you ma.
God bless you and the makers of this website.
AOKOA. (My Initials)

What is Deliverance?
I want to know if deliverance is a necessary step to overcoming family challenges or personal challenges. I have not done one before but I need to know if, in my quest for solution to my problems, I need to do one.

Another issue is I don't want to fall into wrong hands. So many pastors cant be trusted these days in Nigeria. We don't know who is who again.
Taiwo Hassan,
Lagos.

Help me before I lose three Children. (Mrs. BAA writes again)

Hello Madam,
I am Betty, the lady who wrote in many months ago about the sin I committed with an old boyfriend while in Nigeria. You titled my ordeal Help me before I lose three Children. I thank you all for your support and prayers. I am fully settled in America. I have re-established contact with my husband. He has not re-married. He now allows me to speak with my Children and he has said if I can help them to come to me in America, I should. This is the greatest news all my life. I even send him money because I learnt he is not finding it easy with the children because of the economic situation at home. Anytime I tried speaking like his wife, he rebuffs me, or drop the call or do something that shows me that though he was hurt, but he still loves me.

I know this is not my making. If he is my husband that I know, I know in a matter of months we shall be back. He once told me that since I left more than a year ago, he has not slept with another woman. I want to believe him. He was like that. I betrayed him. He said his mother is pestering him to remarry and they are pushing one Polytechnic graduate to him. But he said he has never seen that lady as a replacement for me. I am asking God to carry out a surgical operation in his heart and bring us to full restoration. I ask God to restore my home. I want my home back. Living as a single woman is fraught with sorrows. I am working to bring my children here, and possibly, him too, because I cant go back to Nigeria and face those people.

I seize this opportunity to thank you Madam for your advices, you, your husband, Topsie Ade in London and Godwin, that guy who abused me in pidgin English. You and your husband responses to me, after my husband turned nasty, re-assured me that God has not finished with me.

Madam, I am ok today. God has restored me. I have a great job. I am doing well in the Church here. But for the fact that I am still ashamed to face my past, I would have either come to see you in England or invite you here. I am in Ohio. Since I came here, no boyfriend, no relationship, no sex. God knows. Oh, I regret what I did.

Please join me in prayers that I will have my home back, not in Nigeria but here in Ohio. That may my husband be hungry for me. That may he forgive me totally and forget the past. Moreover, that my children, now healthy, forgive me and be here with me before end of April in Jesus name.
Thank you madam. I cannot thank you enough.
Betty.

How to hear from God

My question is how do you hear from God? I have just listened to a CD by Bishop David Oyedepo, where he said one of the biggest problems we all have is our inability to hear from God clearly. And that NOT many pastors can say they were actually called by God and that is why they are struggling all the days of their lives. He said God does not pay for what He does not sponsor.
I am a business man and my business has to do with the gospel. But I'm still struggling after seven years. After listening to the sermon, I have been asking myself how do I hear from God? Is it by reading the Bible and applicating some verses to oneself or is by dreaming and God speaks to you in a dream or what? If a thought comes to my mind, how do I know if its from God or devil? Please help me ma.
Solomon Obande,
Makurdi.

Some things I discovered in my fiancee

To Madam Counselor,
Madam, I'm in a dire dilemma. What I did is sin but out of that sin I found out some truths, which will cause me some troubles if I marry her.
Madam, since I got born again, I promised God that I would wait till I get married to her before taking her to bed. I was resolute on this and I believe I was standing.
Madam, to save myself, I told her and she agreed. She therefore formed the habit of coming to my house in company of one friend or the other. Madam, But there was this fateful day, a day of sin and a day of revelation. Madam, she came to pick a bag I bought for her and we got talking until the rain began. It rained and rained that one thing led to the other and ...
Madam, you know that when a man marries a woman, you still expect a young girl like her to still have a beautiful body, great boobs, smooth skin, etc. Madam, I was shocked that Funke has lost all. Her breast is like ten children had sucked it. Her tommy is like 20 children had passed through it. I was able to see what she calls underwear. Madam I was shocked that is this the woman I had shown my pastor that I want to marry? I cant go back to the pastor to tell him why I don't want to go on again. I don't even know what to do. Madam, I mean, this lady has lost all.
From this, I can deduce her past. I have not discussed this matter with her but I have began showing her colours of its over. Madam, my mind is out of this relationship. But I don't know how to tell my pastor that I discovered all this. I should not engage in pre-marital sex. I should lay example but I have fallen and discovered that I was dating an old and over used girl. I am the Church music director.
Usoro,
Calabar.

I want to re-marry, my pastor says no way

Hello counselor,
I had my first child in secondary school for this crazy man. After a lot of disputations, i gave birth to a daughter, his carbon copy. Nobody, including his mother could say no again. Before I knew it, he started coming again and in less than a year, I was pregnant again and had a baby boy. In all these, I had thought we would get married unknown to me that three other women had had children for him. My mum drove me out and I ran to Lagos where I began to live from one place to the other with two children.
I have raised the children now, one out of secondary school the second still there. I managed by selling bread by the road side. My Church had assisted me as my pastor paid their school fees until recently that a Church member took the boy to their house and started training him.
I am 35 years old and I need to continue my life from the point of destruction I put myself. I have been living alone for over 10 years. Now, I want to live like a complete woman. I was once blind but now I can see.
I was lucky when a friend introduced a pastor to me, he has a young Church around Iyana Oworo. When he came to me, I told him about my life and children. He said he knew all these and he wants me all the same and I jumped at it.
But someone cautioned me to be careful. I went to my pastor who told me no way. I attend Church of God Mission. (Idahosa's Church) Again, someone took me to a cele prophet who also said no way.
At least the man is also a pastor. In his Church people talk of signs and wonders. I want to live like a complete woman. This pastor is still available for me, he calls me daily.
I need another opinion. When I told my younger sister, she said there is a page on the internet where people assist with advice. So I told her to help me ask you. As a woman, I know you know how I feel. Help ma. How do I know the will of God for me on this matter?
Lady Bee,
Okokomaiko,
Lagos.

How do you recognise a true Pastor?

I attend one of the big churches in Lagos. Recently, my pastor was caught in a public and ridiculous controversy with another pastor in the same vicinity over my pastor's association with a pastor who is largely regarded as occultic in Lagos.
Since this controversy, I have been asking myself a lot of questions: Is my pastor fake? He does miracles which we see in our healing school and many people see on TV. But who cannot do miracles these days? Its only in my church that the book of the said occultic pastor is sold. This occultic pastor is ostracized by PFN, CAN and many pastors all over Nigeria. The same treatment is happening to my pastor. He is a lone ranger. He goes no where to preach. Nobody calls him. But our church is flourishing all over the world and the pastor is very popular on tv and in many homes. But his association with this occultic pastor is a source of worry for me. A proverb says show me your friend and I will tell you the type of person you are.
I want to believe that the said occultic pastor is really occultic because we know nothing about him, his antecedents, his fathers in the Lord or where he has been. The association between him and my pastor is very surprising and I began to wonder.
Please tell me how to recognise a true man of God.
Mary Okpe,
Lagos.

Differences between my husband and I on doctrines

My husband and I attended different Churches before we were married. His church has different ideas on dressing and doctrines etc. Even though we are both born again, we differed on these and he promised we would work this out.
Well it has been tough. He won't choose a common church and doesn't want me to put on jewelry even though i was wearing all this before we got married. He will only attend a particular church and just criticizes other Churches. What can I do? Can this marriage work?
Toyosi

Response from Rev. & Mrs Nike Adeyemi

Dear Sister Toyosi,
I have just got a glimpse of your story and complaint on Doctrinal issues as pertaining to dress code, however I have left that for my wife to attend and she will get back to you ASAP.(As soon as possible)
I want you to bear in mind that your marriage will work if you want to, and prophesised it will. There is power in your tongue, and what you believe and profess and say always. I thought I hear you change your word and says " My marriage will work"
The Lord is still in the Business of making your home " Heaven on Earth" an abode for saints, if you it will work.
Until then,
Rev Yomi Adeyemi
CFM UK

Sister Toyosi,
Your marriage will surely work if you wish. Always confess positively. There is power in your tongue. I want you to meditate on Proverbs 14:1 , Eph.5:22-24. The issue on doctrine is very simple and depends on individual's interpretation of the word of God. You should not allow that to break your home. Since you did not resolve it before going into marriage, you must exercise patience and be prayerful. God expects you and your husband to pray and worship together, eat and do all things together as you have become one. Just be at peace with him, try to search the scriptures together and let the Holy Spirit directs you . The issue of doctrine is simple, both of you could be right and could be wrong. For example, in the old Testament, the children of Israel misused jewellery (idol) and God was not pleased with them ,hence some Churches picked the doctrine of not using jewellery whereas, in the New Testament -
1 Tim 2:9, the bible requires women to dress moderately- gold, dresses and hair inclusive, but emphasize on the need for women to have good works. That is why you see many women even great women of God using jewellery. Just give your husband time and do everything in humility and in prayer. There is nothing prayer cannot sort out for you. God is interested in your marriage and you have a lot to do for God rather than spending the whole day disagreeing on doctrine. Time is going and God can come at any time. I commit you under the everlasting hand of God to carry you and grant you peace in your home. I look forward to read from you again. Shalom.

My wife is forcing me to attend a Church I am tired of.

The issue is I brought my wife to this pentecostal church in 2002. Before I knew it, she has become an usher in the Church. The pastor of the Church had earlier made me a top officer in the church but I found out that I am not growing spiritually, and all the Christian fervour I brought to the church from an earlier church, I had lost.
The pastor is strong in praise and prayer. But when it comes to preaching the word, he is so light. He respects people with money in the church. Not minding where they get their money from. I am not criticising him but I have found out that he is so.
Also, he give fake appointments. Promises people what he knows he will not do. I am into a serious business and I need the word so I can grow especially in a funny country like Nigeria. I want to leave but my wife wants to stay put. Now, I go to the church when I like and just this morning, I find out that the last time I prayed was three weeks ago. I am sad about this. What can I do?
Olumide Ajose,
Ilorin

Response from Rev. & Mrs Nike Adeyemi

Fear of HIV
Sir, I often fall ill, fever, headache, catarrh etc. Someone said I should go for HIV test but I'm scared because I know the kind of life I have lived long before the noise of HIV became popular. My wife had done HIV test but negative. Same with my 2 children. But I have not. I am afraid to do that test. I keep praying that God will take sickness away from me. Please join me sir.
Ibe Nwachukwu
Port Harcourt

Response from Rev. & Mrs Nike Adeyemi

Bro Ibe,
Calm down, God is in control. Have you received Lord Jesus as your personal Lord and Saviour? If not, quickly do that now.( Say after me; Lord Jesus, I come to you today to ask for your mercy, I accept that I am a sinner (confess your sin) forgive me and cleanse me with your precious blood. I accept you today as my personal Lord and Saviour.
Henceforth by your grace I will not go back into sin. Please write my name in the book of Life and help me to remain in you to eternity. Thank you Lord Jesus for accepting me. I am now a born again child of God) Congratulations! Now You are saved and the package of your salvation includes HEALING, deliverance, blessings of all type, peace ,joy etc. Now turn your Bible to III John verse 2 (The mind of God concerning your healing), Isaiah 53:1-5 ( Lord Jesus provision for your healing ) and many more ........ Just read, meditate and pray in the word of God and believe you are healed of ALL your diseases.
Join yourself to a living Church, give your service to God, run away from sin and it shall be well with you. Read Mat.4:23 (Jesus is visiting you for healing right now). Have faith, focus on God rather than what your situation and circumstances are telling you. Sickness is demonic just as my husband has told you but righteousness delivereth from death (Prov.10:2). Move closer to the Pastor of your church and he will guide you further. Fear not, you are in the hands of God.
Rev. (Mrs.) Adenike Adeyemi
CFM, UK

Dear Ibe,
I wish to react to your letter requesting for support because of your fear of the above dreadful and incurable disease.
My first question is to ask whether you are now Born- Again and have totally surrender your life to God through salvation and accepting Christ as Saviour. If your answer is yes, then meditate on the book of Isaiah 41:10
Fear not for I am with you, be not be dismayed for I am thy God, I will strengthen thee, ye I will help thee.
The approach of Christ to all incurable diseases diseases starting from Mental health disease to Hiv/Aids has always been, how many of you are there ( legions ) and He would always say Get out of Him. Although because Hiv/aids involve coitus and contact with the opposite sex because of continuous cravings for sex, people do neglect the fact that incurable diseases could be caused by the demons in legions.
Cravings for whatever, Cannabis, Cocaine, Heroine and sex come from the devil and you may not be able to stop at a junction until you get to the last Bus stop. The last bus stop is always from sexually transmitted diseases like gonorrhea to syphilis, candida Albican, all these are junctions or comma but the bus stop is HIV/AIDS OR FULL STOP. But with men it may be impossible but with God all things are possible. LK 1:37.
A good example is the man of Gaderene with incurable diseases of Mental illness. All the signs and symptoms of what he manifested was a pointer to the fact that he suffers from mental health problem. Jesus did not apply injection or medication but commanded the demons in legion to vacate as strangers where the Holy-Spirit of God was to fill. When the landlord has come, tenants has to vacate the house.
The Bible advised that sickness are strangers and they shall be grieved and run out of their hidden places.

Solution:
You must confess your sins to God and be genuinely Born- Again

Take hold of all the Promises of God related to healing e.g Exo 15: 26 , 3 John 2
Jere 30:17-19 Isa 53: 1-5 etc

Bind the demons and cast them off by the name of Jesus and cover yourself with the blood of Jesus.

If you are exercising fear to attend test, hold on the word of God that you will not die but live to declare His Glory Psa 118: 17
Bind the spirit of death and cast them off and invite the spirit of God to consume them

Attend prayer regularly, Spirit- filled Church programme and deliverance where necessary.

Meditate on the word of God all the time and avoid depression setting into you. Josh 1;8

I hope to hear from you very soon. You may wish to get my book ( Hope in Despair) It address this problem.

Rev Yomi Adeyemi
CFM UK

Stole books
When I was a young boy, I loved reading books but I had no money to buy. My parents were too poor to afford judging by the fact that my country Angola went through war for a very long time. So I stole so many books from a public library in Luanda, Angola. Today, I have a phd and well remunerated in a company here in Estonia.
Recently, I visited home and found out that the library is empty. All books gone and the younger generations have no books to read. I could have stole about 30 books from the library. I confessed to my wife and she said I should go and tell my pastor or go to the library and tell them and make restitutions. Is this right? This will expose me to public ridicule. Don't you think so?
Jean B.,
Estonia.

Pastor,
Thanks for your immediate answer. I just saw it and had to respond. I agree that I will do restitution. But the question is should I confess all these to my pastor as my wife suggests? Or go to the library and tell them? Wont restitution expose me to ridicule? How can I do it neatly?
Jean.

Response from Rev. & Mrs Nike Adeyemi

What an amazing story to hear. You have stole through your PHD and now you are sad to reflect on your past experience to PHD level.
My brother, you require restitution and this involve your returning those Books you have stolen and even buying an additional new ones to the library. Your past lives of stealing might have deprived many Children of books to read and have resulted in their failure, no wonder Children like these become culprits instead of becoming graduates like yourself. But you can genuinely repent today and make amends
The Bible has this to say in Exo 22:4 " If the thief be certainly found in his hand alive whether it be ox or ass or sheep, he shall restore double.
Meditate on Lev.6:4 and the confession of Zacchaeus in LK 19: 1-8
Some believers however do not believe in Restitution but the Bible teaches and commands it, most especially if you want to experience peace of the mind and that of God plus true blessings.
I anticipate a reply very soon of your obedience and any other question that may come out of this. Bless you.

Rev Yomi Adeyemi
CFM UK

Pastor in Jerry curls
I need your opinion before I make up my mind on this issue with my husband.
We attend a white garment Church but having listened to a sermon on Tv and read so many articles on this site. we are convinced we need to change church to be a more serious christian family. But he choice of church of my pastor is a bit curious to me: ................... (name withheld- Editor) A church where all the pastors do jerry curls and there has been some kind of scandals at one point or the other.
I insisted to my husband that no matter who attends the church and the miracles they all claim happens there, my spirit does not agree with a Church where the pastor looks to worldly, all the junior pastors too do jerry curls and probably, they are all using toning creams.
My husband said God looks at inward parts but I said yes, but my spirit does not agree with pastors doing what is feminine and what is not culturally acceptable to us as a people. He has started attending the church but I stay home. I have not been to church in five months now. I will rather go back to C&S than go to the church.
Please speak to me ma.
Bless you a great deal.
Blessing Mrs.

Response from Rev. & Mrs Nike Adeyemi

Dear Blessing (Mrs),
I strongly agree with all you have said in your mail until when you said you have attended the Church last for 5 months. I disagree with this and want to advise you to repent from such bad behaviour.
Whether you worship in a Church where their hair is watering down due to whatever jery curls or cream, once you are there but to worship God in truth and in the Spirit according to what the word of God says in John 4:24 and not conform with the world and copy their ways of dressing and oiling your bodies and hair in the same way( Rom 12:1-3.) God will surely answer you, and you can still be in the narrow way leading to heaven, while here I am not judging that others may be in a big Church and still treading a broad part that leads to hell.
However the decision of your husband being the head is the final. Your husband may be smaller in stature like David and yourself very tall like Dorcas, He has the final say to where to worship and pray. You must refer to him always as the head and give him the honour. This is the secret of happy home un-ending.
But you must approach all things in love most especially when it require a change, and predominantly Spiritual matters.
I do recommend that Pentecostal Churches are heavenly minded if they are not only money conscious and dress conscious, but preach holiness, preach against sin, the coming judgment of Jesus Christ to judge sinners and the world at large, Evangelism, breaking of bread, water Baptism etc.
Refer to what I have earlier replied on this matter on this website. To say you will like to return back to C&S is deadly. I have had experience in such places before and can stay for the next hours writing about these experiences.
I hope to hear a change of your testimonies pls.

I am always afraid, my mind speaks negative things to me always.

How can I solve this issue? My mind is always in the negative in spite of the fact that I am a Christian and a departmental head in my Church. If I'm sick, i think of HIV always. When I'm ok, I forget. I have a little swelling on my head, something tells me its a tumour, and it could become cancer. But I always rebuke that thought. Generally, when something happens to me, my mind takes it too far in negative ways. I keep praying but it has not stopped. How can I attack this? Is it a spirit?
Andrew Isabela,
Zambia

Response from Rev. & Mrs Nike Adeyemi

My mother Vs my wife
I don't know what to do on this matter between my wife and my mother. Since I lost my dad in 2000, my mother has not been in good health. I am the only child here in Lagos as my siblings and elder sister are all abroad. Mother had gone to stay with elder sister in London but they fought and fought and fought because mother still thinks and sees her as a daughter, not as someone's wife of 18 years and mother of three. It got so bad that mother was sent home and relationship between sister and mum has been bad.
Now she is with me. Same problem daily with my wife. But I always appeal to my wife to keep her cool. I arranged to get a place for her, close to me so I could even monitor her, ut she said if she packs out of my house, she is going to a town where I know she would be so exposed to danger from my fathers family, whom we were not close to.
Staying with me, she visits people whom I avoid. Calls people on phone, those who do not even ask for her in the last 10 years. Gives families my home address and phone number, people I rather stay away from. She makes friends with neighbours who would rather stay on their own. And when I warn her that this is Lagos where we do konko jabele, kaluku lomi se tie, she says that is not what Jesus said. She just join a church and she behaves as if she is the best Christian around.
Because she stays in London for two years, she has a high regard for herself and wants to do things big in church. This is not convenient for my pocket. In short I'm tired of my mum staying with me.
What can I do? Please help me.
Solomon

Response from Rev. & Mrs Nike Adeyemi