Perhaps you are one of those fellows who due to whatever reason, read their Bible in parts, and so, have somehow concluded that it is only men that have been commanded by God to love their wives, while the latter is only expected to respond, not necessarily with the same level of love, but compulsorily with respect. To support this claim, the folks in this category spiritedly quote the famous passages of Eph 5:22-33; and Colossians 3:18-19.

Nonetheless, it should be stimulating and encouraging to the male folks to discover that, in the same Word of God, a provision has indeed been made for their wife to love them deeply in return for their love.

‘Teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, …but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to LOVE their husbands and children …' (Titus 2:3-4).

‘Your desire will be for your husband'. (Gen. 3:16).
In the same vein, with regard to the issue of respect, it's quite interesting to discover, also, that men have equally been enjoined to treat their spouses with dignity, far from handling them like a garbage can, or foot mat. Hence in a sense, they have been asked to respect their mates.

Now to shower a man with respect in the absence of affection merely tilts the balance. This position renders him naked and insecure. While His ego may be well preserved in his wife's respect, the hollowness within, longing to be filled, which is practically impossible without love and acceptance, would remain unarrested and unfilled. Though a man's make-up requires a high degree of his wife's respect for his psychological balance, no amount of ego massaging can absolutely take the place of deep, solid and unflinching love. We all can well sense it when we are truly and deeply loved.

You might have tried hard to love your husband passionately especially in the initial, sizzling period of married life. Unfortunately, he could have failed to reciprocate accordingly. In consequence, along the line, the tendency has been great to drop the "fastidious and suspicious partner". Meanwhile, you have braced yourself for a lonely walk; at least, emotionally.

Unknowingly to you, however, you may be creating a dangerous vacuum that could turn out to be too overwhelming to handle. Evidently, certain individuals are already used to this state that they are no more able to quantify the impact of such a position on their general well being and their emotional stability. At any rate, it may become too costly to trust your relationship to chance. Going beyond the physical realm, it is pertinent to maintain the unity of the spirit, because you will need to team up to resist a common enemy. Actually, it may be more expensive than envisaged to allow a chink in the wall of your relationship. In any case, it takes two to tango!

If the husband loses his cool and throws temper tantrums, ensure, as a wife, that you prevent his action getting into you too deeply. Unity of the spirit needs to be sustained. God is a God of unity and relationship. Conflicts are inevitable in this unique relationship of life. However, the power to resolve them before getting out of hands makes all the difference. Magnanimity of heart is rather essential; for obedience to God is imperative. Biblically, you are not only to respect the one you married. As a matter of fact, you are expected to love him.

The problem at hand is letting go, either by negligence or design. Regrettably, letting go leads to separation, divorce and sometimes death—physical or spiritual, as it may be. Hence, nip the problem in the bud. God declared that marriage must be a journey for two in every sense of the word. So, resist a turn off from your side. Nothing should be allowed to push you into facing the trip all alone – either emotionally or physically, except something beyond your control. And may the Lord deliver you from such. Amen.

Therefore, endeavour to be large hearted. Recall the scene and the exchange of vows at the altar on the day of solemnization. Giving the master a full and regular doze of respect in the absence of genuine love will merely create a "slippery" space in your married life. Spread your love beyond the children in the family. Let it extend to the "Oga", "Megida" or "Master". Unwind! Forgive! Resist vehemently the urge to let go, even in the presence of a rebuff. We are not talking of face value love. I guess you understand what I mean.