I'm talking about that all illusive button on the inside of your partner. When Americans think of sex they think of just the sex act of two bodies having pleasure. They miss the more connected aspects of sex. The spirit and soul part of us that also wants to be touched, caressed, grabbed and explode into ecstasy.

All of us have good body sex at one time or another. Yet when was the last time your soul exploded with such ecstasy whit your body that you though you were going to leave planet earth? That's right, I'm talking about mind blowing sex that hits the inside button as well as the outside.

How to make your partner's soul explode during sex takes different skills that make the body pleasure. To add to this jut like everyone's body works differently sexually, so everyone's soul works different sexually.

Let's take a journey into some of the general principles of getting to the button on the inside. First, what are the deepest longings of your soul? What is it you want to hear when being made love? Exclude the dirty talk here and honestly what are you looking for; acceptance, approval, victory, control, beauty, adoration, alive, power, appreciation, love, nourishment, loss of self, escape or fantasy?

The list is endless what people are really looking to receive during sex. Some don't even have an honest clue what they're looking for sexually. If you have a recurrent fantasy there, this might give you insight. You might really need a honest heart to heart with yourself first and then you and your partner can talk clearly about what you are looking to get from sex so your needs on the inside are getting met as well as sex.

Secondly, things change as you grow and change what you connect to during sex ay change. Sometimes you want to be gently adored and other times an aggressive pounce is more satisfying. Your inside button is important for you to know what it is so that you can have more explosive and satisfying encounters with your partner.

If he needs victory in his sexual encounter, knowing this can make his sexual encounters more satisfying. This is usually the man who gets more out of seeing his partner pleases than himself. Then during sex the language you speak into his heart is how good he is, how he pleases you. When he hears this during sex, his pleasure inside will be so much greater.

If she needs beauty the learning the language of beauty for her during sex is critical. Yes, you can comment on her external beauty, but go deeper. What turns you on about the soul she is. He honesty, depth, humor, winsomeness, playfulness. Tell her how beautiful her soul is and when you hit the inside button the pleasure she receives will be heightened to the max.

After all we all have inside buttons. Finding them ourselves is somewhat tricky because it involves us looking at ourselves. Not always the strong part of ourselves but rather that vulnerable part of ourselves. To say we need to be adored, made to feel victorious, strong, powerful or beautiful is vulnerable. If you have a partners who you not only share your body with during sex, but you can trust them with your hearts need then, kabam, you can release deep from within that and take your sexual experiences to a much higher level.

There may be times for just body sex. Yet it that's all you can do even with endless creativity you will never scream from the inside. The inside button is a journey once you find it you can discover a greater depth to sexuality. Then you can choose what kind of sex you have, outside buttons only or both inside and outside button sex. When you can do both you are free to roam a bitter terrain if you can't, your terrain is only limited to the body.

We live in Colorado , we believe in the great outdoors, climbing mountains, etc. What I am talking about is the great indoors. Find the inside button of your self and your partner and climb the mountains of the inside sex we al want to have.

Douglas Weiss is the Executive Director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center

Douglas Weiss, Ph.D. Author of Sex, Men and God .

Website: www.winningatmarriage.com.
Used with Permission.